HI jokes
Why did the knight cross the road?
He can't because his armor was too heavy.
The parents used to hit him.
His parents got into a car crash and died.
He became an orphan in an orphanage. The people there hit him. He looked up and said "Parents?"
Yo mama so fat that when she farted, Big Shaq took off his jacket.
A magic genie tells Tom, "I can make anything of yours disappear!"
Tom raises his mug and says, "Okay, get rid of my tea."
Genie: Poof!
Tom: It didn't work.
Why did the Vampire put his son up for adoption?
He thought his son sucked!
Memes
My mate caught me sniffing his disabled sister's knickers the other day. It wouldn't have been so bad, but she was wearing them at the time. It made the rest of the funeral so awkward.
How do you make Olaf hard? You tickle his snowballs.
A boy went to a genie and said, "I want to be like Batman."
He went home, his parents weren't there.
Luckily, his funeral was a closed casket, sorry, his car blew a gasket.
Why did Jeffrey eat all the ice cream in one sitting?
To make room in the freezer for his special meat.
I tried kidnapping a kid today and told him I was his dad's friend and I would take him home. He just curled up into a ball and started crying. Kidnapping must be easy.
We have a teacher in school. His name is Haybrock, but he is gay, so we call him Gaybrock.
What would a gay man do for free that a heterosexual woman that is a whore won't do for $50.00 for a heterosexual man?
Suck his balls.
Zion's so fat, when he walks, he breaks his mama's back.
Me and my suicidal friend are close, so I took him to the mall to treat him.
We bought snacks, a new controller for his Xbox, and LED lights for his room to hopefully brighten his mood. After we scanned the last item, the machine beeped by itself.
Why do your orphans not drink beer?
Because last time they did, he went to suck some dudes' toes, then he tried to take him to his parents, but I guess that never happened.
A dad is in a wheelchair and his daughter goes, "Don't step on a crack!"
Why was Kobe a good father?
He took his daughter with him.
Little Johnny woke up at midnight on Christmas Eve to Santa with his pants down on top of his mom. He then said, "Ho ho OH YEAH!!!"
How do you find out the price of an emo? You scan his barcode.