HI jokes

How many letters are in the English Alphabet?

Twenty-two. ET went home, P ran down his leg, and he took ME with him.

What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.

Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.

Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

I have an Uncle named Ricky, who made ur mom sticky.

His dad calls him pricky and everyone begs for his dicky.

Hi Leyla, I have been trying to reach you for a while. Where have you been? I was wondering if you wanted to chat.

Why was the apple 🍎 sad?

Because he got his peelings hurt.

How it be when the new guy takes too long...

Hay Danny, it's me Johnny.

Johnny: Boss says to kill the guy in red. Point the gun at his head.

Danny: Ok, target locked. 3... 2... 1... bang.

Johnny: Danny, hope you did not get the man in red.

Danny: OH MY BRO FOR REALL.

Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy.

You wouldn’t believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.

I broke up with my boyfriend and stole his wheelchair.

Guess who came crawling back?

Why was the chicken screaming?

He had an egg stuck in his butt.

Once, an orphan purposely fell out of a tree. He forgot his parents wouldn't catch him.

Chalie has an eating disorder, and he is shorter, so is his life, but he will never get a wife. He's a gay motherfucker who wants to be hit by a trucker?

Q: Why did baby shark cross the Pacific Ocean?

A: To find his dad.

This had me wheezing 😂🤣😂🤣

In 1492 Christopher Columbus sailed the ocean blue.

He sat on a rock, tickled his cock, until it turned red, white, and blue!

What does a bear beat off with?

His bear hands.

Why did the teacher yell at the orphan?

Because he didn’t do his homework.

I have a better version of this joke.

How to make a plumber cry: Simple, kill his family. That’ll definitely turn on the waterworks.

Why did the son go to the store?

To find his dad.

Santa's sack is big because he only comes once a year, but his sack is SO BIG after containing the lovely eggnog he has that those weigh the sleigh.

He never had kids because he comes in the chimney.

I told this man to rev his vehicle.

Didn't know wheelchairs can't rev.

Erin like TJ, but his tapeline said no.