Why did the son go to the store?
To find his dad.
HI Jokes
Santa's sack is big because he only comes once a year, but his sack is SO BIG after containing the lovely eggnog he has that those weigh the sleigh.
He never had kids because he comes in the chimney.
I told this man to rev his vehicle.
Didn't know wheelchairs can't rev.
Erin like TJ, but his tapeline said no.
What does an Emo do with his friends?
Literally hanging out.
What were my final words to Putin before I put a bullet through his head?
Answer: Putin, put out!
I asked an orphan where his parents were.
(God, I wish I knew)
You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!
Little Jonny fucked his mum.
Why did he go to the chiropractors?
To get his spine fixed.
Why wasn’t the orphan able to finish his cereal?
His parents never brought back the milk.
Why was Stephen Hawking always like this 🫠?
Because he didn’t have emojis on his computer.
How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her? She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles.
Billy: Dad, I was shot by a sniper!
Dad: Uh...
*hides his rifle*
My grandpa lost his toe today. 😔
Nvm, we found it. It's in his TOEtruck.
Why did the wither skeleton fail his test?
Because his answers were netherrite.
What did the Mexican firefighter name his two sons?
Jose and Hose B.
I saw a little kid crying today. I asked where his parents were, and he started to cry more. I left the orphanage to get some milk after that.
His new music video has been leaked. It’s called “Living in a Tree.”
Guy: Hi, how was your day today?
Woman: Good!
Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant*
Guy: How many months pregnant are you?
Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also, I’m not pregnant.
