Hes Jokes

My bro said food was cool. So I threw a piece of cool chicken at him. For some reason, he hit me, OOF.

My son always said he wanted to skydive, so we went on a plane, and mid-flight, we had to jump out. The only issue is we were on a commercial flight to Arizona.

I've never been to Bradford before until today. While driving through the city center with my dad I asked, "Would you set up a business here?", to which he responded "No".

So I asked "Why not, you'd make us rich!", He gave me a confused face and asked, "How so?".

So I said, "Because sales would be fucking booming!"

I know, it's an awful joke.

There is a Mexican sitting on a train.

The guy sitting next to him says, "I have a big dick."

The Mexican decides to get a lawnmower and some clippers. When he got off the train, the police found a dead body with no dick and pube hairs.

Once a monkey lived in a jamun tree. His friend, a crocodile, came there to eat jamun everyday. The second day, he ate some jamun and left some for his wife. Soon, his wife said, "Why don't you kill this monkey?"

The crocodile was sad and then asked the monkey to come to his place. The monkey said, "What if I drown?" The crocodile said, "Jump on my back." The monkey jumped on his back. The crocodile soon said, "I am gonna kill you. My wife is sick and wants to eat your heart." The monkey said, "I left my heart on the jamun tree." Then the crocodile swam back to the jamun tree and the monkey jumped on the tree.

for fat people......... sorry

A light yellow image with two cartoon minion characters. The top minion is wearing blue overalls and has one eye covered with a goggle. The bottom minion is looking to the right, wearing blue overalls and has big round eyes. The text says: "Eat whatever you want, and if someone tries to lecture you about your weight, eat them too."

He asked for a shot of beer?

He got shot and killed.

He's a Fortnite kid, haha!

Why did the amogus act sus? He was an amogus! hahahahahahahahahahahaahahaha

Why did the sheep die? Cos he wasn’t pretty enough.

We were so poor my dad would give me a penny not to eat supper.

I'd put it under my pillow and while I was sleeping, he would come in and take it. In the morning, he would holler at me for losing the penny.

Why did the astronaut bring the seeds to space?

Because he wants to planet the seed! 🤣🤣🤣

My and my penis never truly understood the words "Booby traps" until we met the ex-wife. God's gift of self-will was working fine until my penis went hard and my mind went blank, and God started laughing, and I swear I heard him say, "Booby trap" as he walked away! True story.