Hes jokes
My friend Joe was a great hunter. He always shot like 3 deer every week.
He was even better at school when he bagged 30 of them.
A school shooter enters a kindergarten classroom. Little Timmy says, “He’s my daddy!”
The teacher, Mr. Mortez, screams. Little Timmy then says, “Mr. Mortez, my daddy says you’re a big fat whale and he wants to roll you all the way to Canada!” *pushes Mr. Mortez* Little Timmy says, “Hail f**king Canada!”
How did the hipster burn his lips?
He drank his coffee before it was cool.
What do you say when you see an apple dancing in a talent show?
He's got some "sweet" moves!
Why couldn't the whistleblower leave his house?
He was snowed in.
Memes
What happened to the terrorist who tried to blow up a bus?
He burnt himself on the exhaust pipe.
We all know 6 is scared of 7 because 789, but why did 10 have PTSD?
He was stuck in the middle of 9/11...
Kobe likes his shoes like the way he died.
Air.
A Jew and a Jew walk into a bar. The goy says, "What do you want?" The first Jew says, "Give it alcohol." The second Jew says, "My son ran away and became Christian." Another Jew pipes in, he says, "My son too!" The bartender turns around and says, "You're not going to believe this..."
What would be Joe Biden's name if he was an orphan? "Joe."
I went for a swim in the river that crosses Mexico, and I saw a Mexican, aka a wetback, swimming across. I asked, and he said, "I'm a wetback."
My friend told me that he saw a yacht went close in to the yeti's eye, so I said to my friend, "Did the yeti kiss?" But my friend said, "No, the yeti have to play games every single day, or the yeti will die."
Why wasn’t the rabbit jumping?
Because he was dead.
Yo forehead so big that when I asked Vegeta how big it is, he said “IT’S OVER 9000!”
A man walks into a bar and see's a naked lady, "WOOW SHES HOT!" HE picks her up and pee's on her and says, "Hi lady lets have sex."
Why did Wilson die? Cuz he sucks!
A pastor asked his child what his favorite bible verse was... He responded, "Keep watch," because he wanted a watch.
John walked into Pat at the barn. He was dancing naked in front of a tractor. John said, "Hey, Pat, what are you doing?"
Pat said, "Well, me and the wife have been having a bit of trouble in bed, so I went to a therapist, and he said I should do something sexy to a tractor (attract her)."
Why did the ion always lose at Go Fish?
Because he was playing with a cheetah!
Why did the Roman not eat BBQ chicken?
Because he "wasn't a veggatarian."