Hes jokes

My friend told me that he saw a yacht went close in to the yeti's eye, so I said to my friend, "Did the yeti kiss?" But my friend said, "No, the yeti have to play games every single day, or the yeti will die."

Why wasn’t the rabbit jumping?

Because he was dead.

Yo forehead so big that when I asked Vegeta how big it is, he said “IT’S OVER 9000!”

A man walks into a bar and see's a naked lady, "WOOW SHES HOT!" HE picks her up and pee's on her and says, "Hi lady lets have sex."

Why did Wilson die? Cuz he sucks!

A pastor asked his child what his favorite bible verse was... He responded, "Keep watch," because he wanted a watch.

John walked into Pat at the barn. He was dancing naked in front of a tractor. John said, "Hey, Pat, what are you doing?"

Pat said, "Well, me and the wife have been having a bit of trouble in bed, so I went to a therapist, and he said I should do something sexy to a tractor (attract her)."

Why did the ion always lose at Go Fish?

Because he was playing with a cheetah!

Why did the Roman not eat BBQ chicken?

Because he "wasn't a veggatarian."

I dated an orphan and then later married him for 7 years until he told me he was an orphan.

Katsuki Bakugou went into a bar and said: "Where is that damn nerd?!?". Everyone was confused.

Bakugou says: "Tell me where Deku is or I'll kill you!" He kills them all because they all have green hair.

A man ate a bee to mechanical sexting, but he was to be, uh, sex. Bee vagina penis, he want sex but [is] dumb.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?

Because he was arrested on suspicion of murder.

This midget in my school has two moms. I said, "Did your dad go get the milk?" He told me to shut up. I said, "I don’t shut up, I grow up like you should."

So the Devil decided to go to McDonald's and grab some lunch. What does he get?

A hot and spicy McChicken and three six-piece nuggets.

Q: Ten shepherds out in the sheep field. How do you know which one's gay?

A: He's the one the sheep fuck!

(I'm gay, and I know this joke is demeaning and inappropriate, but I still think it's funny as a 2-inch penis.)

Person one: Why did the boy go home?

Person two: Why?

Person one: Because he had PHOAM work to do!

Why did the clock eat so fast?

He wanted to go in for SECONDS! Super bad, huh?

Why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted to get run over and poop, and he died for 30 years until he was sent to Joe for getting run over, and he got killed by something, and then he died, and then he got it by you poop.

Have you ever stepped foot in Stephen Hawking's house? 'Cause he hasn't either.