Hes jokes
Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn’t all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.
A Russian wife turned to her husband and asked...
"What's this special military operation our glorious leader keeps talking about?"
Her husband replied, "It's a proxy war between Russia and NATO."
"Oh, right. How's it going?"
"Well," he replied, "so far we've lost 200,000 soldiers, 4,000 tanks, 500 aircraft, numerous helicopters, loads of armoured vehicles and artillery pieces along with our 'flag ship'."
"Wow! What about NATO?"
"They haven't turned up yet."
One night a guy asked his wife where she wanted to eat. She said, "Chinese food," so he flew her to China. The next night, he asked her what she wanted to eat. She said, "Indian food," so he flew her to India. The last night, he said, "What do you want to eat?" and she said she wanted nothing, so he flew her to Africa.
A depressed man buys a gun for suicide, but then thinks, "maybe I shouldn't be doing this," and asks a friend for help. He returns with a rope.
What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
"Aye, matey."
I told a kid his dad is a magician because he disappeared and never came back home.
How do you know if a rapist loves you?
He will rape you many times.
The kid's dad was a magician because he disappeared and never came back.
I once told an orphan his dad is Spider-Man because he is far from home.
Why did the disabled kid cross the road?
(Why?)
He can't.
Why was Santa happy?
Because he had 3 hoes.
Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?
Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
They should bring Michael Jackson back from the dead so he can star in the Peter Pan horror movie.
Blud is so old he pre-ordered the Torah.
Do you know that no one finds Hitler a great guy?
But he really saved the History Channel.
What did they call Hitler when he swam?
Adolfin.
What does Johnny Depp hate about driving a car?
He can't drink and drive.
Why does Adolf hate golf?
He ended up in the bunker.
Q: Why was 10 afraid?
A: Because he was always between 9/11.
I apologize if those jokes didn't meet your expectations. Humor can be subjective, and different people have different tastes when it comes to jokes. I'll try my best to share a few more jokes with you:
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
What did one hat say to the other hat? You stay here, I'll go on ahead!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they'd be called bagels!
What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner!
Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
I hope these bring a bit more amusement. Let me know if there's anything else I can assist you with!