Hes jokes
When the South Tower saw the North Tower collapse, he said, "I'm still standing."
Jeffrey Dahmer likes his men how he likes his coffee: black and ground up.
Me going to jail for telling the orphan he has 363 days because mothers and Father’s Day.
A Roman went to the bar and he held up two fingers and said, "Can I have five drinks, please?"
Do you want to know what gifts God gave me?
He didn't give me any.
I was made by the Devil.
A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.
The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"
Why was the orphan so successful?
Because his options were to go bigger or go home. He only had one choice. :)
I came across a pic of the oldest man on earth on IG. He was 132 years old.
I commented "age is just a number" for him; now I'm banned.
My mom gives me your stuff because you have bad grades.
Me: How about my 5 little brothers? I have A's; he has F's.
She lets him play anyway and I don't.
After I see an anime boy acting cool,
Me at school acting cool:
My brothers: "He's just acting cool."
Me: I'm gonna kill u 0.0
Bro, I gave a suicidal kid Nikes... he just did it, lol.
A child's parents once lived in Chicago.
I wonder why he's in an orphanage now.
What’s the difference between Kendrick Lamar and an orphan?
He has family ties.
The first child, Daisy, asks her mother why she is named Daisy. The mother said, "That's because a daisy fell on your head when you were born."
The second child, Raindrop, asked why he is named Raindrop, and the mother said, "That's because a drop of rain fell on your head when you were born."
Then the third child, Cinderblock, said, "fxg,kxf dsdsvtg,hjer,btjh,rbtsvikvsdtxde43f."
What did the Indian say when he bumped into someone else?
"Sari."
Why can't an orphan ever be a criminal?
Because he isn't wanted.
Why did the retard cross the road?
He never made it!
Why did the orphan cry when he got back home?
Because he did not have one.
The guy who discovered milk... What did he do with the cow?!
There was a fish looking for a great meal. He looks above him and sees a fly. He thought, "If that fly drops six inches, I would have a meal." Long story short, a pussy gets wet.