Why is Jonnyy baiiiiii sad? Because he no shower pero.
Hes Jokes
What do you call an orphan that grows up to be a priest?
Father-less.
Q: Why did the Mexican start taking anti-anxiety pills?
A: Because he was taking them for His-panic attacks.
Why did Jordan cross the road? So he could get to his house.
Hello! Why did the duck cross the road? To prove he wasn't chicken!
I had to go to the doctor for a prostate exam. When he stuck it in, I started to squirm, so he held onto my shoulder.
I thought it was going well, until he grabbed my other shoulder as well.
My Italian chef friend died last week. He pasta away.
So the other day my black friend and I were working on a group project. He was so slow so I whipped him to make him faster.
A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.
Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"
The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."
Horrible Jokes, Part One- A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing. He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.
So, this guy, right? He has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog.
About 2 weeks after he loses everything, he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "What do you mean by 'blowing chunks'?" says the boss. The man replies with, "Chunks is the name of my dog..."
This man has been through all kinda shit in his life. So one day, he finally looks at himself in the mirror and says, "If another person looks at me again, I'm going to kill myself." He looks at himself and no one ever heard from him again.
Q: Why was the gay man fired from the sperm bank?
A: He got caught drinking on the job.
Q: Why was the 4 year old anti-vaxer crying?
A: He was in a mid-life crisis.
If a man says you’re ugly, he likes you.
If a woman says you’re ugly, she’s just jealous.
If a child says you’re ugly, well, you’re ugly.
Why can’t you tell JFK facts about Dallas?
Last time he was there, he got his mind blown.
He’s so short no one can see you very close by.
I met a talking lizard. The doctor told me he had ereptile dysfunction! 🦎
What do you call an orphan family photo?
A selfie.
But wait, what family? He never had one.
"Why couldn’t the DJ keep any of the fish he caught?
He kept dropping the bass."
