She left and now I support womens rights. I will kill her.
What are chocolates preferred gender pronouns? Her-She
A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "did you see that?" She says "yes", so the man shoots her. He leaves the bank and sees a couple, he asks "did you see that?" "No but my wife did!" The husband said.
Son: Why is my sister’s name Paris?
Dad: Because we conceived her in Paris.
Son: Thanks, dad.
Dad: No problem Quarantine.
one night a father heard his daugter saying good night good night mom god night dad good night mamah good by papa the next day her papa died he heard her saying them a month later good night mom god night dad good by mamah the next day her mamah died well her dad was scared for his life he knew he was next well his daugter said them again good night mom good by dad the next day the mail man droped dead on their porch.
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field. 2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon. 3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.” 4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop. 5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river. 6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils. 7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope. 8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves. 9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match. 10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee. 11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”). 12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted. 13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff. 14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat. 15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball. 16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing. 17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
Your mom is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke
I caught my wife this morning gazing at our marriage license of long ago that hangs upon our wall with tears in her eye! Almost got teary eyed myself until she told me she was only looking for the expiration date!
I ask the emo girl if she got jealous if her phone die.
Bully: her little Timmy you look like a ugly rat. Timmy: well at least I'm a good chef and I'm in a movie unlike you. Bully: dies from embarrassment 😱
What is the difference between a hooker and a feminist? If you want a hooker to be a bitch you have to give her money first.
yo mama so fat that will smith could slap her from a mile away
A young teen was walking home from school and having a nice day.
She gets home eats, showers, and heads to her room. The young teen hears her mother say something, not sure what she said the girl replies with "ok".
The young teen was gonna head to bed wondering when her mom was gonna come in and say goodnight she lays in bed, but then she hears her mom's voice say "Hunny I'm home", she doesn't bother to say ok.
Later when she decides to sleep she gets a message from her mom saying to unlock the door that she lost her keys. :)
-Dark_Humor
One day my mom told me to take out the trash and I did . The next day mom asked me where is your sister and I said a garbage truck took her. Mom started running to try and get the truck before it left
To momma's so fat she can use her belly button as a breakfast bowl
You momma's so fat when I went to suck her tit I got a mouthful of knee
You momma's so fat when she pulls her knickers down her ass is still in um
When you tell her you are about to "COME," she says no don't please just keep going. Shenron: THAT IS BEYOND MY POWER
I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: "Why didn't you drug her again so she would forget?"
Man goes to a doctor says he's having problems shitting so the doctor gives him so enama and says he needs to do it a few times at home but does the first one for him so the guy bends over the table lubs him up and shoves it deep in him and he yells. so later the man goes home and tells his wife he needs her help with the enama so he bends over she lubs him up puts a hand on his shouler and she shoves it up there and he starts screaming and cussing and the wife asks did I hurt u? He said no I just realized when the doctor did it he had both hands on my shoulders
