Your momma so fat she can feed [the] entire continent of Africa with her fat!
Three sons left home, went out into the world, and each of them made a lot of money. During a reunion, they discussed the gifts they'd given to their elderly mum.
"I built a big house for our mum," said the first.
"I sent her a Mercedes, with a chauffeur," said the second.
And the third smiled and said, "I think my gift was the best. You know how much mum enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know that her eyes aren't so good anymore? Well, I sent her a remarkable cockatoo that recites the entire Bible, both old and new testaments. It took a priest twelve years to teach him. That cockatoo is the only one in the world that can do it. All mum has to do is name the chapter and verse, and the cockatoo recites it."
A few days later, mum sent out her thankyou letters. She wrote to the first son,
"The house you built is so enormous that I only live in one room. The trouble is, I have to clean the whole house."
To the second son she said, "I'm far too old to travel anymore. I stay at home most of the time, so I've hardly used the Mercedes. In any case, the driver is so rude."
To the third son she wrote "Dearest Freddie. You have the good sense to know what your mum likes. The chicken was delicious!"
My sister said that I need to stop with the audited butt:
I got it from her when I was born.
My wife told me to pass her lip stick, but I gave her a glue stick. Now she is not talking to me.
Your momma's so fat, when I went to suck her titties, I got a mouth full of knee.
Your momma's so fat, when she pulls her knickers down, her ass is still in them.
Okay, long story fast, I walked to GameStop in my house, in the kitchen, by Walmart, to a BTS Squid Game concert, and Drake and Pablo were there for her labor in the Cowboys stadium by Nike, so I bought a pencil from a dead alive man. He said "ZOO WEE MAMA." So yeah.
FaceBook Story: My mom loves FaceBook; she literally posts every day, but this day was sort of a hard hit.
So what happened was my mom got tired of her old name on Facebook, so she changed it to Thatmilf85, and I don't want to explain what milf means, but she got a lot of DM's from a lot of old guys. BUT, this one exact guy named Johnny Sins asked my mom if she wanted to do an adult film. I don't know what that is. I think it's an adult movie, of course, so she says yes and flies out to San Diego, and she never came back after yesterday, and to YOU Johnny Sins, my mom better be Ok and that adult film better be an adult movie and not a por...
An orphan goes to a family restaurant with her doll.
"I'm sorry but you can't be here," said the man. "This is a family restaurant." The orphan said, "This is my family," then pointed to her doll.
Your mama is so fat, when I think of her in my head, she just broke my neck.
My sister Wani is a dwarf, so I sit on her as a chair.
My girlfriend asked for a kiss, so I gave her my dick.
What do you call an Asian chick with dick in her ass, pushy and mouth?
Filipino.
What do you call a Chinese hooker that won't get on her knees?
Cantonese...
Little Johnny went on a camping trip. All the tents were taken, so he shared with the teacher. So Little Johnny says: "Can I play with your bellybutton? My mom always lets me when we camp." So the teacher says: "Sure." 5 minutes later the teacher says: "Woah, woah, woah that's not my bellybutton!" Little Johnny says: "Woah, woah, woah, that's not my finger."
How do you make rape funny? Tickle her while you do it.
Yo mama is so fat that when I was printing a picture of her last year it's still printing
Where did Sally go during the bombings? Everywhere!
Why didnβt the parents bother looking for her? Because she was in the front and back yard in small chunks! π
Yo mama so fat Trump built a wall around her and not the border.
Why did Jeffrey get blood on his shoe?
Because this teen just started her period!
