My heart broke as I went down up the stairs and my girlfriend broke her ♥️ heart
It was raining sadly all day my wife my 2 daughters and me stuck in the house when wife’s mom and dad just died
Wife:😭😭😭I wish this never happened
Mia our first daughter: momy it’s ok I love whenever I see you🥰🥰
Abby our second daughter: I love u all only if you guys die I won’t but I love you when ur alive 😉😏
Me husband: what kind of nonsense was that you love us when we’re alive but you don’t love us when we’re dead🤥😥😓
Everyone except abby: abby this is serious mommy’s mother and father died. says Mia: yes your mom is sadly down right now you made her more sad😡🤬.says dad:sniffs* abby I had made a discussion I will take to an orphanage I am sorry 😣 when I amd better and happy and I forgot what you said then we’ll get you back.says mom:
This was not a joke I just did this for Love 💕
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help her check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
I was at school with friends one of my friends had hair in her armpits the rest day of my friends and I tried not to laugh or say anything until on of my friends laughed and told she had hair in her armpits so she ran to her locker to get hair remover and went to one of the restroom stalls
Why did the Muslim man cross the road? To violently rape an eight year old girl then indoctrinate her with Islamic scripture and train her as a suicide bomber
My wife is pregnant with a 3 year old so I gave her medicine but now she’s pregnant with a 5 year old
your eyebrows and hairline is so far apart that when Dora the explorer went found your hairline and was trying to find your eyebrows the map couldn't even tell her.
My mom told me to help her with the laser but it was opposite day so I pushed her down. She said help so I kick her
My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and airforces but as soon as I spend a $100 on hookers she leaves me
I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter and she asked which one was my kid and I said I haven't decided yet
What’s big, pink, long and makes my 12 year old girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth?
Her miscarriage.
My wife Jean is happy, 😊 pretty, 😍 and pregnant,🤰 boy, 👦 am I glad 😊 I bought her 👩 a new whirlpool washer and dryer. washer $ 249.95 dryer $ 199.95
My mom tells me when I get into an argument with her that she brought me into this world and she can take me out. Some times I wanna tell her that I can do that for her.
The emo girl got jellest that here phone dead and not her
yo mommas so stupid her family tree is a telaphone pole
i saw a girl crying i asked her were are your parents she cried as I got kicked out of the orphanage
what did the tree do to the emo, left her hanging
I told someone some jokes y'know fruit ninja, barcode legs, french puppet thigh wrings. And she was like saying thats not cool and stuff. So she reported me and it was like. The counselor: So i've heard you've been making sh jokes? Me: You say it like it's a bad thing Her: It is Me: chill bro it aint that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)
i saw a girl crying i told her where are your parents She cried more after that i got kicked out of the Orphanage
Why do trans women go by she/her? Because if they went by her/she they'd be chocolate
