New Her Jokes - Page 5 - Worst Jokes Ever

How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?

She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.

A Thai woman ran into a wall. What does she break?

Her boner.

Did you hear about the fire at Noelle's place?

Her sister is a real Dess-ember!

Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," He was just asking her to move.

Yo mama so fat, when she went to a dating service, they ended up matching her up with Pittsburgh.

Three ladies were on a flight when suddenly the captain announced, "Please prepare for a crash landing."

The first lady put on all her jewelry. Surprised by this, the other ladies questioned her actions. The first lady replied, "Well, when they come to rescue us they will see that I am rich and will rescue me first." The second lady, not wanting to be left behind, began to take off her top and bra. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, when they come to rescue us, they will see my great tits and will take me first." The third lady who was African, not wanting to be outdone, took off her pants and panties. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, they always search for the black box first."

What's black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.

Adam and Eve are wondering whether they are black or white. Eve says, "Why don't you go and ask God?"

So Adam goes into the Garden of Eden and shouts out to God, "Are we black or white?" A big booming voice bellows out, "You are what you are."

He immediately goes back to Eve and tells her that they are white. "How do you know?" asks Eve. "Because he said, 'You are what you are,'" Adam replied. "Why does that mean we are white?" asked Eve. "Because if we were black, He would have said, 'You is what you is.'"

A woman walks out of the bathroom, winks at her husband and says, “I shaved down there; you know what that means.”

The husband responds, “Yeah, the drain is clogged.”

What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?

Slick her hair, she looks 15.

My mother-in-law would have been on one of the planes that crashed on 9/11.

Had I known in advance, I would have bought her the ticket.

Why does your grandma like gardening so much?

Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.

How did the cannibal know the girl he was eating for dinner had COVID-19?

She lost her taste.

A guy on a bus saw a beautiful girl. He asked for her number, and of course, she said no. He asked the bus driver for advice, and he said, "That girl goes to the cemetery to pray every day at 10 p.m. and look for a statue of an angel." So he dresses up as God, goes to the grave, and she sees him. She says, "Oh, Lord, end my misery! Kill me now!" And he said, "Only if you do something for me first." She replied, "What is it, oh mighty Lord?" He said, "Have sex with me." She agreed. They had sex, and when she was done sucking his dick, he said, "I have something to tell you." He took off his costume and said, "I'm the guy from the bus." And she took off her costume: "I'm the bus driver."

(Does anyone remember this? It's an old joke someone made, or does no one remember this? I didn't make this, but it went smth like this)

My best friend is transgender; she transitioned from a man into a woman. I think it's courageous of her to take a pay cut like that.

I hope I die peacefully in my sleep like my mother.

Not screaming like her passengers.

Your ma is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.

Kelly Clarkson may be able to shed her weight [through pills], but she will never be able to shed the fact that she admitted herself that she molested her children when they were toddlers.