Hawking jokes
I knocked on Stephen Hawking's door, but nobody answered...
All I got was "error 404 page not found."
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He lost internet connection.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
"Windows 10 shutting down."
How did Stephen Hawking die?
They unplugged the wifi.
What college can Stephen Hawking not attend?
"Stand" Ford University. :3
What’s the difference between Hitler and Steven Hawking?
Nothing, they're both dead, one painted the walls and the other committed suicide by pressing ALT + F4.
Stephen Hawking is so lucky to go to heaven.
Oh never mind, here comes the stairway.
So Stephen Hawking walked into a bar - just kidding.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite toy?
Hot Wheels.
Stephen Hawking once stood up to bow down to Chuck Norris.
When Stephen Hawking found out about physics, he was speechless.
You wanna know who didn't kick the bucket? Stephen Hawking didn't; nor did he bite the dust.
Why did Steven Hawking only tell one-liners?
Because he couldn't do standup.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Microchips.
When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a megabyte and some microchips.
Is Stephen Hawking under warranty? If so, can I bring him back to Currys PC World?
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He didn't pay his electricity bills.
A brunette, a red-head, and a blonde are being chased by bandits. They are chased to the edge of a cliff and a genie appears.
"I will help you escape," says the genie, "say what you wish to turn into, and you will become that thing."
The brunette jumps off the cliff and says "Hawk." She turns into a hawk and flies away. The red-head says "Falcon." She turns into a falcon and flies away. Now the blonde is alone and the bandits are getting closer. She makes her decision and backs up, then runs toward the cliff. And...she trips and says "Crap."
The End
Why is Stephen Hawking good at skateboarding? Because he's always on the ramps.
What does Stephen Hawking say after sex? That was wheely good.