Have jokes

My diet consists of Blood Pudding, I love it and have it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, my secret ingredient though?

It consists of the blood and insides of my victims, it’s a bit chunky sometimes, some bits chewy, some bits hard, but it’s a hearty meal.

What did the fish say to the other fish? "You have a big butt!"

The other fish said, "We don't have butts......"

A mom says to her son: "Hey, can you wave to that deaf kid over there?"

The son: "I don't know, can I?"

The mom: "May you?"

The son: "No, I don't have any arms!"

My wife and I were at the park with our little princess today.

We decided to go back home, then some jerk had the nerve to shout, "Stop those two! They have my daughter!"

There is only one thing I have to give my enemies.

A bucket full of dead baby heads and semen so they can replenish their spawn.

Follow me on Instagram @v2good.at.fortnite and @v2good.at.edits for a surprise.

Btw, you have to like all my posts :)

Kariana: Dad and mom, what is this bullshit?

Treon: How did you find that?!

Kariana: It was under the cabinet where you told me to put the streamers. I found these under the cabinet, did she have another sister you didn't tell me about? Now tell the truth, or else!

Petina: Now what have we told you about going into things that are not yours!

Kariana: I just told you to say the fricking truth, now who is Faineni? Where is she? Who is she? What is her date of birth? Why do I have her bra under here and why....IS IT UNDER THE FRICKING CABINET!!!!! ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!!

Treon: We can't!

Kariana: BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!

We wrote letters to a kid with cancer.

My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path."

People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.

A black man walked into a bar. Another guy invited him over for a drink. They spent the rest of the night drinking and having a good time.

Boss: Can I do a reference check?

Me: I don’t have a...

*sensei appears*

Me: oh no

Sensei: He was a good student, but he lacked kizma.

Boss: What's kiz...

Sensei:😈

Me: Oh no, here we go.

Sensei: Kizma AS-

People definitely have the N-word pass in Africa.

Apparently, rich people have the smallest penises. It makes sense why Bill Gates called it "MicroSoft."

Me: Can I have your chair? 💺 You: Why? Me: For charity.

One thing that Miles Morales and Black men have in common is that they're both rip-offs.

When a pregnant lady gives birth, it looks like she is having an erection.

What do world hunger and a Mercedes have in common?

Diana can't stop either.

Why did the first boob say to the 2nd boob: "Between us, I have to take a tit."

Me: *sprays some perfume on myself*

Friend: Omg, that smells so good! You’re so aromatic, how do you not have a bf yet?

Me: ... I’m aromantic and aromatic. I do not desire romantic relationships with others although I do enjoy carrying lovely scents with me.

How can a pimp save money in buying condoms for his stable?

Answer: Have his hoes wash and rinse them after every use.

What do kids have in comments? They have parents, right?