Have jokes
What do a priest and a pedo have in common?
Nothing, they both like kids.
What do birds and autistic people have in common?
They both flap their arms.
Why can’t USA and England play chess?
The USA has no towers, and England doesn’t have a queen.
A Roman went to the bar and he held up two fingers and said, "Can I have five drinks, please?"
Friend: Hi!
Me: Who are you?
Friend: ...your friend?
Me: What are you talking about? The doctor already said I couldn’t have any.
Q: Do you know why transgender people are good at being carpenters?
A: Because they have more experience cutting off their wood.
If I had kept all my two cents to myself, I'd have enough money to publish my own newspaper now.
I don't have a joke, it's just funny reading them.
Why can't an orphan be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
Why do Indian guys never have gfs? Because they always pick curry and biryani over girls.
My crush rejected me 2 years ago, and I still have never moved on. I'll be over her when a train is over me.
Why couldn't the orphan get an Android? Because it didn't have a home button.
My mom gives me your stuff because you have bad grades.
Me: How about my 5 little brothers? I have A's; he has F's.
She lets him play anyway and I don't.
Why did the orphan become a stripper?
To have someone to call "daddy!"
People in Africa have earth, fire, air, but never water.
Autistic jokes have been very popular recently. In other words, I've been very popular recently.
Why did the orphan cry when he got back home?
Because he did not have one.
There was a fish looking for a great meal. He looks above him and sees a fly. He thought, "If that fly drops six inches, I would have a meal." Long story short, a pussy gets wet.
Bully: Shut up, motherfucker!
Me: Well, stop talking to me and I won't have to keep fucking your mother.
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.
Oh wait, I'm thinking of...