Have To Jokes

A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions and promotion.

"What do you have to look forward to in way of a promotion in your job?" asked the Rabbi.

"Well, I'm next in line for the Monsignor's job," replied the Priest.

"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.

"Well, next I can become Bishop," said the Priest.

"Yes, and then?" asked the Rabbi.

"If I work real hard and do a good job as Bishop, it's possible for me to become an Archbishop," said the Priest.

"O.K., then what?" asked the Rabbi.

The Priest, beginning to get a bit exasperated, replied, "With some luck and real hard work, maybe I can become a Cardinal."

"And then?" asked the Rabbi.

The Priest is really starting to get mad now and replies, "With lots and lots of luck and some real difficult work and if I'm in the right places at the right times and play my political games just right, maybe, just maybe, I can get elected Pope."

"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.

"Good grief!" shouted the Priest. "What do you expect me to become, GOD?"

"Well," said the Rabbi, "One of our boys made it!"

Robber 1: *gets shot in ass*

Robber 2: You have to shit in a bag for life lol.

Robber 1: What, the Tesco or Asda one?

Why do midgets have to wear a green bright jacket when crossing the road?

Because they will get turned into a pancake even more.

It's not funny, I know.

You know the only way to win is you have to actually planet.

How do we get a butt? God made us like that, and we can't change it. If you wanted to, you have to die <:

A baby with a skeptical look is shown in the image. The caption above the image says, "When u have to watch cartoons after a scary movie so you don't have nightmares."

this one time i said to a person that tehy are dry they i was wet (ba dum tiss) my bully said i have to shut up i said shut down (ba dum tiss)

Friend. Do you think she likes me. Me.. Yah. friend... Really😀😀😀. Me.... hell no. Friend...😥😓😫😭😭😭😭😭😭 you did not have to be so honest.

The patient says, "Doctor, you've got to help me. Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say."

The doctor says, "Next, please."

Jill went up to a bar to play a game of pool. Then Jack came in and asked Jill if she wanted to ride in his new car. She said, "I have to think." Then Jack said, "At least let me buy you a drink." After 5 drinks, he asked again. This time she said yes, so they got in the car and Jack and Jill rode up a hill to Jack's home. Then Jack said, "Close your eyes, I got a surprise!" So Jack lead Jill to his room then said, "Open your eyes!" So Jill opened her eyes, then Jack got them some red wine. Jack got drunk and unzipped his fly and Jack said, "I know you wanna." She said, "No way!" So Jack gave her one more drink, then she passed out. Then Jack ripped all his clothes off. Then he did the same to Jill. Then he did it till 3am.

The kid that died is coped in half and you see the next trap it looks like a giant pit that upyo7 have to jump over and you clear it but you feel something on your back and you realize that there is a spike that comes you when yo7 jump over you see the other contestant jump over yiu try to warn them to not step over because the6 would get stabbed but they ignore you and then get hit by the spike the next optical is a wall the slams on a wall you wait until the wall close and you quickly run through the next person runs through and they get to live.

Sorry this is small this is also a part two

rape: the only crime where you have to tell the victim they couldnt do anything even if they could run or say something, then after are told rapists stop them doing something about it.

There is only one thing I have to give my enemies.

A bucket full of dead baby heads and semen so they can replenish their spawn.

follow me on instagram @v2good.at.fortnite and @v2good.at.edits for a suprise btw you have to like all my posts :)

Badminton: Your breath is so bad that you have to take a mint before you go on Fortnite.

Why did the first boob say to the 2nd boob: "Between us, I have to take a tit."

"Prince???? Where are you??? I might have to go to bed for real, but I just wish we could talk at night. Why don't we anyway? (I love you so much!)"

You smell like a monkey, and you might have to take a shower, pu.

I take debt of 25,000 euro. I spend 20,000 in charity, and 5000 euro are left. I pay the debt of 2000 euro and I have to pay now 23,000 euro to bank, and 3000 euro I have in profit, 23,000 +3000 >> 26000 ;)