Have To jokes
Kid at Wish: I wish I could be Batman.
Doctor: Okay, shoots mum and dad. Doctor: I guess now you’ll have to be gay, you wanted to be like Batman.
Family is precious, so you have to keep them away from the sunlight.
Yo mamma so old that when she farts, we have to dust again.
Running out of time to cut the grass, may have to cut it short.
When a 68 year old teacher says: "I am going to tackle an intruder if I have to!"
Me: "Oh hell nah"
Why can an orphan not do school work?
Because they have to take their work home to their parents.
Why you never have to give a balloon to Elsa?
Because she will let it goooooooooooooooo let it goooo!
What is the difference between Hilary Duff and a computer? You only have to punch information into a computer once.
Why did the orphan have to stay at school?
Because they need to leave with a parent.
How names were named.
"I have to go because my tailor is at the gym where he will chase coal before dawn."
"SAY THAT AGAIN. SO MANY GOOD NAMES!"
Your mom is the biggest tosser on the planet, yeah, you heard right.
I don't have to strain myself a blood vessel and be wankin' solo anymore; she saved me a whole load of arthritis.
Why do people have a lot of money and they have to spend it on jewelry 24/7 all the time?
My girlfriend is so stupid, she asked me if I wanted to shower with her to save money on our water bill, while we were staying at a hotel where we didn't even have to pay the water bill.
Your hairline goes so far back you have to wear sunscreen.
The first time you have to do a full body workout in chess.
Did you know Africans don’t have to be black?
My friend asked which is better to have, and you have to choose: autism or Down syndrome?
Do you know why people in wheelchairs don’t pay for them?
Because they have to pay for road tax.
You have been a bad boy, so now I will have to pun-ish you!
I asked my mom if I could be Wednesday (from the Addams family). She said no. She said I would look creepy and weird. She said I HAVE TO BE SOMETHING CUTE. The outfit looked ridiculous. Everyone else looked spooky except for me ;-;.