What's the one upside to being an orphan?
You never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.
"You have to do this," and my sister said, "Well, I don't care."
And I said, "Well, you care enough to respond back, oh my gosh!"
If you hate what you hear from Nickelback, at least you can get your nickel back.
If you have to deal with the noise from Deftones... unfortunately, not only are you unable to obtain any refund, but you may have become permanently deaf.
Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense.
They have to come out of the closet sometime.
Yo mama so fat, I have to take a train, 2 buses, and 3 airplanes to get on her good side.
Woman: A woman’s life is harder, there is menstruation, periods, birth...
Man: Men have to deal with women.
The terrorists said over the intercom, "We're coming up to our destination, so we can't go over it, we can't go under, we have to go through it."
I'm so poor I have to put my Big Mac burger on layaway.
You also have to learn to say no. For example: "Would you like a piece of cake?" "No, I'd like two."
Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!
Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?
What did the icicle say to the snow?
"Why do you have to be so soft?"
Why do orphans have to get an iPhone 12?
Because it doesn’t have a home button.
A cat gets its tail run over, and its mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!”
The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!”
Guess who dies next.
I have a really good construction joke, but I’ll have to post it later because I’m still working on it.
*P.O.V orphan wanting to go on school trip/camp*
Teacher: “Can I have your parent's signature? It isn’t filled out.”
Orphan: “Um yeah.... That’s gonna be hard....”
Teacher: “Why?”
Orphan: “I just have to find them first....”
A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared."
The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
How can you tell if a man is straight? You don't have to, he will tell you.
Why are Black women dating white men?
So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father.
In a game, there are crew members that have to keep the ship running. But little did they know, there was an imposter among them.
Sound familiar? 🤔
Well, in September 11th...
Donald Trump and the Pope were standing on a platform in front of a crowd of people. The Pope said to Donald Trump, “I can make everyone in this audience happy with one small swipe of my hand.”
Donald Trump replies, “That’s not possible. You’ll have to show me.” Then the Pope slaps him.
