What's the difference between a pizza and a guy you really hate? One won't scream when you remove their meat
Hate when my phone dies instead of me :))
A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a beer. After 10 shots of vodka they guy had, the bartender figured if he talked to him he would tell him everything as he’s not sober.
Bartender: Hey that’s some nice jewellery you have there it must be expensive.
Guy: Yeah this bracelet is made of 100% diamond. It costs me like 250 thousand dollars. What a bargain eh.
Bartender: Seems like you make a lot of money. What you do for a living?
Guy: I take cash from the bank and don’t give it back. It takes a lot of moral courage to rob banks to provide for my family.
Bartender: What? If that’s the case then why do you even pay for the jewellery or this beer. You’re a hypocrite that’s what you are, justifying robbing people as a living.
Guy: Hypocrite? You’re right I m living with double standards to justify my actions.
(5 seconds later)
Guy: Aye open the cash register and give me your wallet or I will blow your fucking brains out. I fucking hate hypocrites and I will not gonna be one of em!
Girl:Hey Boy: Hi? Girl:I need to tell u something... Boy:WHAT? Girl:I like u Boy:And I hate u Boy:YOUR A CHICKEN 🐔🐔 🐔 Girl:I HATE U YOU POOP💩💩💩💩 Girl:LOSER L Boy: I thought u said U liked me Girl:SHUT UP CHICKEN/POOP💩💩🐔 🐔 Boy: GIRL BYE Girl:Bye felisha
I am really hot but I hate water what am I
Actor 1: "I'm Micheal with a b and I hate insects" Actor 2: 'Wheres the b?" Actor 1: "THERE'S A BEE???????????!!!!!!!!!!!????????!!!!!"
There are days I feel really bad for my Wife. She has to feed me in the same place I take a dump. She really hates it when I spit my food back out. Stephen Hawking
What movie do orphans hate most? Way home
I hate it when I don’t understand someone
I hate crying
I hate noise
I hate airplanes ✈️
What song do orphans hate the most? "We are family."
(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes) 1. What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick
2. I was going to tell a dead baby joke. But I decided to abort.
3. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.
4.Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They're painful to look at.
5. Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.
6. Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
7. I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
8. My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Yeah Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh You decide, if you're ever gonna, let me know (yeah) Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh I'm sad and low, yeah I'm sad and low, yeah Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh You decide, if you're ever gonna, let me know (yeah) Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh I'm sad and low, yeah I'm sad and low, yeah I gave her everything She took my heart and left me lonely I've been broken, heart's contentious I won't fix, I'd rather weep I'm lost and I'm found, but It's torture being in love I love when you're around But I fucking hate when you leave Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh You decide, if you're ever gonna, let me know (yeah) Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh I'm sad and low, yeah I'm sad and low, yeah Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh You decide, if you're ever gonna, let me know (yeah) Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh I'm sad and low, yeah I'm sad and low, yeah Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh You decide, if you're ever gonna, let me know (yeah) Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh I'm sad and low, yeah I'm sad and low, yeah Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh You decide, if you're ever gonna, let me know (yeah) Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh I'm sad and low, yeah I'm sad and low, yeah
I hate rubber
Why do the Japanese hate Christmas?
Because the last time a Fat Man came down the chimney, they lost half their population.
My mother really hates my dad for some reason. Maybe it was because he cheated on her, or maybe because it was her mom. Either way, it really ruined her birthday.
What state do miners hate? Ore Gon
The ones you hate most are also the ones who are by your side most.
