Happiness jokes
To whomever stole my anti-depression pills, I hope you're happy now.
I love having fun.
Why was the depressed man happy in food-tech?
He got to cut himself.
Why can't an orphan go to McDonald's? There's no point in the words "happy meal."
Why wasn’t the cheese 🧀 happy?
It was blue 😔.
What is the difference between a human and a tree? A human can walk, and a tree 🌳 cannot walk.
What do you call a happy child swinging with her friends at recess?
Not Sally.
Happy new year! 🥳
What time do you think dogs are not happy?
Bulldogs.
What did one cat say to the other? Happy "meow"!
I’m happy to be with my EA when I go to school.
Luigi was dying and had two sons. Bruno was handsome, but Alberto was ugly.
He said, "Maria, tell me, is Alberto my son?"
"Yes, Luigi," his wife said, and he died happily.
Wife said, "Thank God he didn’t ask about the other one!"
To whoever stole my antidepressants, I hope you are happy now.
Everyone when we're in the cafeteria singing happy birthday to some random person: "Happy birthday to you..., Happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear
Me in the background: Happy deathday to you..., Happy deathday to you, happy death day dear___, happy death day to you!"
My happiest moment in life was getting a positive grade on my H.I.V. test without studying.
Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?
Me: Seeing others happy.
Doctor: Ok, so what makes you happy?
Me: Seeing stupid people in misery or agony.
Doctor: Well, that's rather sadistic.
Me: Well, statistically one in two doctors have fingered a child...
Doctor: Do you want your prescription or shall I book you an endoscopy?
Me: There's nothing hidden inside me, I'm empty "smug face".
Flip 1134 over on a calculator.
Happy holidays!
Person A: C'mon person B, just be happy, smile.
Person B: Over my dead body.
Person B: *gets the noose*
An elderly man was happy to finally see his wife again and was packing. He told everyone about the trip.
"I will see her in one week!"
A week later, he died.
Why am I happy? I'm dead.