Hang jokes
There's two reasons guys will hang themselves from the neck.
One is to escape the worthless masquerade of a life we pretend we have, and the second reason is to whack off.
I saw an emo orphan by a tree, and I was going to give it a high-five, but instead I just let it hang.
When I die I want to have a piece of paper near me giving a clue on how I died, like, "I want everyone to miss me except for this bullet," or, "You didn't hang with me but guess what did?"
What's the difference between an apple and emos?
They both hang on trees.
My friend told me to "hang on" when I told him I wanted to kill myself.
Buddy, I’ll be hanging for sure, just you wait.
A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.
The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.
Why do emo kids wear hoodies?
They hang easier.
What do you call two emos spending time together?
Hanging out.
What can't you say to an emo?
Hang in there, buddy!
An emo tried to give a tree a hive, but it left him hanging.
What do emos do when they meet up?
They hang out.
What do you tell someone who has depression?
Answer: Just hang in there.
What is an emo's most hated game? Hangman.
Because it's rubbing it in their face that they can't hang themselves.
Rape victim: I want to die.
Man: Hang in there.
Rape victim: That's what I'll do, I'll hang myself.
An orphan was shocked, he called the ambulance. If he forgot he's suicidal, he quickly hung up.
Why did the nerd get scared of the emo? Because the nerd likes to leave the emo hanging.
How do emos fly? They hang themselves.
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams, "Bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied, "Aunts and uncles." Oh.
Next thing he hears is, “Dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he knows, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling, "Fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, Dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh.
Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings. Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, Dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."
Why couldn't the surfer hang 10?
Because he forgot his feats!
A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words.
The man says, “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”