HA jokes

People keep telling me they hope Kenny never has kids.

I don't think that's a worry. His mom is much too old to get pregnant.

Sans: Zzzzzzzz

Papyus: SANS WAKE UP!!

Sans: What is it dude?

Papyus: A human has fallen from the surface world!

Sans: And you gotta BONE to pick with 'em??

Papyus: Grrrrr....

Sans: Oh come on that was a real RIBTICKLER.

Sans: Zzzzzzzz.

Papyrus: SANS, WAKE UP!!

Sans: What is it, dude?

Papyrus: A human has fallen from the surface world!

Sans: And you gotta BONE to pick with 'em??

Using modern day technology you can produce music with a Tesla coil. I don't know if you heard it, but it is quite shocking and even electrifying. I can't tell if it is metal or techno, but it is more valuable than joules. It really amps up your blood pressure and has you saying watt the whole time. It is way better than current music.

Every culture has weird food.

Australians eat vegemite. The British eat haggis. The French eat snails. The Chinese eat dogs. The Americans eat their young siblings' private parts.

Get a calculator.

Okay, anyways, Sally has 69 bottles of boobs (because she is a cannibal that collects boobs) and her friend said it was 222 many. She got caught by the police and was taken to 51st Street. She got arrested for x8 days, so she was BOOBLESS.

Yo mama is so ugly that your dad has to be drunk to bring her home.

What goes in dry and comes out wet and has white stuff at the end?

John and Chloe are in school arguing about who has the more heroic grandfather.

Chloe says, "My grandfather killed 50 Nazis, he's so heroic!"

John says, "So what? My grandfather KILLED Hitler!"

Every zodiac sign has a different hairstyle except Cancer.

Have you ever seen a blind man swim?

Neither has he.

Mom: You will make me kill myself.

Me who has cut first: I'll kill myself ✨first✨!

A cock really has a sad life. He's hairs a mess, his neighbor's an arsehole, his best friend is a cunt.

"Hotel Rwanda" has a high score on Rotten Tomatoes, but their Yelp reviews are terrible.

Why can't a steam locomotive sit down?

Because it has a tender behind.

What did the bee say after the execution? "The criminal has been beeheaded!"

What has eyes but can't see?

Potatoes, storms, and needles.

Why do cow milking stools only have three legs?

Because the cow has the udder!

Why can't an orphan be gay? It has no one to call daddy.

Has anybody noticed that the New York City football team is the New York Jets? They sure know how to scare the Twin Towers.