HA jokes
What’s the difference between Kendrick Lamar and an orphan?
He has family ties.
My mom gives me your stuff because you have bad grades.
Me: How about my 5 little brothers? I have A's; he has F's.
She lets him play anyway and I don't.
Your mama's so fat that she can’t even talk, even if Kevin says, "Oh my gosh!" 'cause she has a big ass mouth.
Your hairline is so bad when you need a role model who has been having a tough life, you go to your barber.
You telling me Julius Caesar, who has been dead for well over 50 years, made this salad?
Memes
My daughter has been writing letters asking Satan for gifts. Imagine my shock when I realized she has dyslexia.
Why was Santa happy?
'Cause he has hoes.
Why can’t orphans have phones?
Because it has a home button!
I took my sister and cousin to a sleepover with lil Diddy, who my dad's friend has connections with.
I think the experience went fine, but they were traumatized. We got what we wanted.
What is the difference between Clash Royale and the Twin Towers?
Clash Royale still has a tower.
How are an orphan and baseball different from each other?
A baseball game has a home run.
I heard that the World Orphan Organization has a sponsor... DC Comics.
Chuck Norris has come in contact with Covid.
Covid is now in a 14-day quarantine.
I told a furry, "Don't call yourself a joke!" I said to the furry, "Joke has meanings."
A telescope has two uses:
1. To look in space. 2. To see your hairline.
Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning?
It has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
Q. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
A. Because it has a silent pee.
Penaldo song 🎵🎵🎵
He has conquered all the Farmers. He is never going to stop. From Lithuania down to Andorra, He has scored a fucking lot. Penalties and Tapins, The Fields of Faroe Islands, He is our GOAT, And his name is Cristiano Columbus. Allez, Allez, Allez Allez, Allez, Allez
What do you give a pig when it has a rash?
Oinkment.
I reached into my pocket and pulled out a rectal thermometer and thought,
"Some asshole has my pen!"