Guys jokes

Incest

    • When you are f***ing your girlfriend and then she tells you that you f**k like your guys' dad.

    Then you f**k your mom and she says the same thing.

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    • Blood

    • Guys, I'm back...

    Here's my joke:

    What is blue and red all over?

    Blood in the water of a shark attack victim.

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    • Guys memes

    Hunter

    • Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses.

    His hunting buddy immediately calls 911. "My friend isn't breathing," he shouts into the phone. "What should I do?"

    "Relax," the operator tells him. "I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."

    There's silence, and then a gunshot. The guy gets back on the phone and says, "OK, now what?"

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    • Drink

    • I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."

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    • Suicide

    • There's two reasons guys will hang themselves from the neck.

    One is to escape the worthless masquerade of a life we pretend we have, and the second reason is to whack off.

    Bullying

    • WTF is wrong with you guys? This is bullying. Stop it, please, but Shaenaya sounds like a good name.

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    • Dog

    • A man was about to go into the bar with his dog when he realized the sign said, “No pets allowed!” He was about to walk away when another guy walked up with his dog. The 2nd man put on dark shades and said, “Just pretend you're blind!” He walked in with his dog, got a drink, then left.

    The 1st man did the same thing, but when he walked in, the bartender said, “You know your ‘guide dog’ is a chihuahua, right?”

    The man said, “They gave me a damn Chihuahua?!”

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    • Genie

    • So, there's a black guy, a white guy, and a Mexican. They find a genie's lamp, they rub it, and poof! Appears the genie!

    The genie goes to the black guy and asks, "What's your one wish?" The black guy goes, "I wish for me and all my people to be back in Africa, happy and everything." So poof! His wish is granted.

    Then, the genie goes to the Mexican and asks, "What's your one wish?" The Mexican goes, "I wish for me and all my people to be in Mexico, happy and everything." So poof! His wish is granted.

    Now, the genie goes over to the white guy and asks, "What's your one wish?" and the white guy asks, "You mean to tell me that all the black and Mexican people are out of America?" The genie replies, "Yes."

    The white guy goes, "Then I'll have a Coke."

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    • Cigarette

    • A guy stuffed some cigarettes up his eyes thinking it would make him see colors.

    The next day, he could see only one color... black.

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