Guys jokes

What do you call a guy from India calling you?

A scammer.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

Guys, we shouldn't make jokes about 9/11. My dad was a victim.

He was the best pilot in Arab.

How do you fit 3 gay guys on a barstool? Flip it upside down.

What do you call it if your mom is a guy and your dad is a woman?

Transparent.

Guys, let's make this post have the most comments on the whole website.

A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, “This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.” The guy replies, “Hey, why not?” He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays £300 on the bar, and says slowly, “Paint...my....house.”

Did you hear of the guy who was sad about being in a wheelchair? He had that crippling depression.

I saw a guy raping a girl in the park, so I decided to help. She didn't stand a chance against the two of us.

Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg?

He's all right.

I was playing football and this guy comes to me, he was in a wheelchair.

We started playing rocket league.

Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.

A guy and girl had a sex poem competition.

Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."

Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."

Guys, we need to stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents might get upset. Oh, wait... never mind.

A guy was in one of the Twin Towers and he ordered pepperoni pizza, but he didn't get it. He got a plane instead.

"I met a girl and she's 28."

"Now I'm the coolest guy in all of 8th grade."

- AJR

How many white guys does it take to screw a lightbulb?

None. They hire me to do it.

I wish that people would stop mailing jokes about Kobe Bryant. Guys, all they do is crash and burn!

Other girls want a guy who is 6ft, but does me being 6ft under count?

I see, you guys jokers are SANS-ational!