Guys jokes
When Pope Pius IX died, he went to Heaven, knocked at the door, and St. Peter opened it: "Who are you? What do you want?”
"I am Pope Pius. I want to come to Heaven.”
“Where do you come from?"
"Rome."
“What do you mean? Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"No, Rome, Italy, of course."
“I'm very sorry, but I do not know you!”
To make sure not to erroneously deny access to an authorized person, Saint Peter takes the telephone, calls up God, and asks: "Hello, Boss, here is a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome, do you know him?"
"What do you mean: Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"No, Rome, Italy, of course."
"No, sorry, I don’t know him.”
Saint Peter makes another telephone call and rings up Jesus: "Hello, Junior, here’s a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome, do you know him?"
"Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"Rome, Italy."
"No, sorry, never heard of him.”
Saint Peter still does not give up and finally calls up the Holy Ghost and asks: "Hello, Smoky, here is a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome. Do you know him?"
"What does he mean, Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"He says Rome, Italy."
"No, sorry, I’m afraid I do not know this guy." But then, after a very short while, he continues: "Wait, wait, tell me, is that the guy who invented the damn story about Mary and me?"
How you guys not even know who did it? Hahahahaha.
Shia Mehdi unlived by beard guy looooool 🤨
There is a Mexican, white guy, a Jew, and a Black man on top of the Empire State Building.
First, the Mexican and the Jew throw themselves off of the building saying, "This is for my people!"
Then the Black man is next up to jump and says, "This is for my people!"
And throws the White man off of the building.
What do you call it when a gay guy farts?
An abortion.
Guys, should I do it? You know what I mean.
A guy threatened to touch me yesterday...
What’s faster than a black guy with the TV?
His little brother with the console.
An optimist says, "The glass is half full."
A pessimist says, "The glass is half empty."
A scientist walks by and says, "You guys are both wrong. The glass is technically completely full because it is half filled with air."
Then Africa comes by and says, "Stop arguing. At least you guys have water!"
How many Kardashians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One really small one and one really small black guy.
What do you call a guy that's high in a wheelchair?
A baked potato.
What does a white person say when they're surrounded by black guys? "Hey, who turned the lights out?!"
What do you call it when a bunch of guys who look the same have an orgy?
A doppelgangbang.
I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.
I guess you can say she had me in a trans.
Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for stealing luggage? Unfortunately, he lost his case.
What do you call a gay guy eating Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
What do you call it when a gay guy eats Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
Why can’t you take a Black Asian guy golfing? Because he can’t drive and can’t find his own balls.
I saw two guys wearing matching clothing, and I asked if they were gay. They quickly arrested me.
What do you call a guy who loves to eat out a hoe's pussy?
Answer: a Carnivwhore.