Grief jokes
What is one word orphans can't spell?
Family.
Why did the orphan cry? Because he was an orphan and he watched his parents die.
I called an orphan's house, saying: "Are your parents home yet?"
He started crying.
My girlfriend's dog died, so I got her a new one in replacement, and she went off on me and yelled,
"What am I supposed to do with 2 dead dogs in my house?!"
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and your parents?
Nothing. They are both just memories.
What's the difference between an orphan and a corpse?
One of them has someone to mourn them.
How did the orphan die?
Of sadness.
What do you call an orphan's selfie?
A family portrait.
What's an orphan's favorite toy? A boomerang, because it comes back.
How to make an orphan die?
Tell them to yell until their folks come home.
Wanna know what an orphan's least favorite song is?
"More Than My Hometown."
Technoblade NPC: Gets removed from Minecraft!
Technoblade: Gets removed from real life!
I saw a kid crying yesterday, and I asked him, "Where are your parents?" Then he started crying harder.
One day, Billy's teacher asked him, "I heard your mom had a baby. What did she have?"
Billy paused and thought for a moment and said, "I think she had a bicycle."
"Now Billy, you know that your mom didn't have a bicycle. What did she have?"
"Maybe it was a tricycle."
"Billy, don't stand there and lie to me. We're going to the principal's office right now!"
The teacher grabbed Billy and escorted him to the principal's office and explained what happened. The principal looked sternly at Billy and said, "Stop lying, Billy. You know your mom didn't have a bicycle or a tricycle. What did your mother have?"
Billy looked up, fear in his eyes and said, "Well, maybe she had a go-cart."
That was more than enough. "I'm calling your mother right now!"
Soon, Billy's mother arrived at the principal's office. "It seems that Billy has decided to start telling lies. His teacher asked him what you recently had, and he said a bicycle, then a tricycle, then a go-cart!"
Billy's mother teared up, and through her sobs, replied to the principal and teacher, "No. Sadly, I had a miscarriage."
Billy sat up straight and said, "I KNEW that damn thing had wheels!"
Why are orphans sad?
Don't ask, or their parents may... oh wait, carry on.
My girlfriend died in Tokyo during a tsunami. I was sad, but my friend told me, "Don't worry, there are plenty more in the ocean."
What should you never say to an orphan?
"Your Mom."
I was crying at school, telling my friends my grandpa died. And they asked me what his last words were. His last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"
Teacher: I am an orphan.
Students: Oof.
Teacher: Is there anyone missing?
Students: Your parents!
My friend was pissed off with me. I was sniffing his sister's knickers. It was worse that they were still on her. It was worse the family were there. It made the rest of her funeral really awkward.