Good

Good jokes

Dick

    • Good Evening Twitter, this is your boy EatDatPussy445, and about like 30-45 minutes ago, I beat the f*** out of my dick so god damn hard that I can't even feel my left leg, my left leg has went totally numb. And, my dick has also went totally numb, to the point where it feels f***ing weird when I go and take a piss.

    911

    • Every 911 joke isn't that good.

    Well, at least not until they come crashing down.

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    • Good memes

    House

    • It's okay to tell a Stephen Hawking joke if there are stairs in your house he can't get to you. Plus, he shut himself down, so it's all good :)

    Impasta

    • What do you call a different spaghetti? An impasta!

    PAPYRUS: WHAT DO YOU CALL A DIFFERENT SPAGHETTI SANS?

    SANS: What?

    PAPYRUS: AN IMPASTA!

    SANS: Good one.

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    • Sex

    • Dear doctor,

    I've heard it's a good sign when women scream your first name during sex, but recently women have been screaming my full name. It's weird, I feel like I'm famous. Can you tell me what this means?

    Yours Truly, Ray Palp

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    • Peter Pan

    • Why is Peter Pan always flying?

    Because he Neverlands. (This joke is good because it never gets old.)

  • 4

    • Phone

    • Why are there no good Indian actors? Because all the good ones are trying to get your bank details over the phone.

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    • Prank

    • Hi, this is a good prank I did.

    So, my brother LOVES his phone and so... I put it in the toilet and then flushed it, but it wouldn't go down. So, then I gave it to him and he threw it and then it broke. HAHAHAHAHAHA

    (Prankster, tell me if you don't like me doing pranks because it is your thing.)

    Bye guys! I hope you liked this prank! (And his phone did not really break, it just cracked really bad lol)

    Orphan

    • Orphan joke protest! Orphans are nice and kind, so stop joking about them!

    Sign a comment and put me or anything else to protest about!

    Good luck, Jake.

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    • Apology

    • Ok, so I know most or all of you guys hate me, and that's fine. You guys most likely know me as a horrible person, which I don't know where you would hear that from.

    And finally, I am truly a good person; you just need to know me better. The only reason I fought Tina and Jack was because I was trying to be nice to another guy. Then I realized what side I should have been on. I'm pretty sure everyone on this hates me. Just I'm sorry, and just forgive me. Alya, Tina, Jack, and someone else, I think all are nice people; they just stick up for each other, and that's what I realized. So if you still hate me, it's fine; I'll be leaving this app soon, maybe. Hate makes me sad, even though I use it, but I know what was wrong. I want to join the good side, so just give a chance. This was watersharky's Apologies.

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    • Sausage

    • Christopher and Tony were tempted for a beer, but they only had 2 dollars each.

    Christopher got an idea and ran away to the butcher to see if he could get something good. He came back with a sausage. So they went to a pub and ordered 2 beers and 2 whiskeys.

    "Are you crazy?!" said Tony to Christopher. "We don't have any money!"

    "Take it easy now," said Christopher. "I have a plan."

    When they finished drinking everything up, Christopher put the sausage through his own zipper and begged Tony to bend on his knees and take the sausage with his mouth.

    The bartender saw what they did and threw them out without even paying. So Christopher and Tony kept doing the same thing pub after pub after pub.

    After the 10th pub, Tony said: "I can't do this anymore. I am drunk, and my knees are in too much pain to even handle the walk."

    "How do you think I feel?" said Christopher, exhausted. "I dropped the sausage in the 3rd pub!"

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