Things to kids:
Dragapult: "Ooh, look! Some ammo."
A Good Parent: "My baby!"
Michael Jackson: (HeeHee)
Good Jokes
I can’t believe it’s been over a year since Kobe decided he’s too good to wait in traffic.
A child asks his teacher to go to the toilet.
"Before you go, recite the alphabet," the teacher says.
"a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z"
"Good, but where's the p?"
"Running down my leg."
"Oh, waiter! Waiter!"
"Yes, sir?"
"Do you have frog's legs?"
"Why, yes."
"Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!"
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger lickin' good!
ME!! EVERY DAY!!
You ever hear of a reverse exorcism?
It's where the devil tells the priest to get out of the child.
What's the one good thing about pedophiles? They slow down near schoolzones.
What's the only good thing about being an orphan?
All snacks are family sized!
🤔 What do gay men who are physically handicapped ♿ can do better than a man who is heteroflexible when 🤔 he has another man's 😍 😋 😜 😏 😳 😉 cock inside 😋 of his warm mouth 👄 👄 give a 👍 👍 good blowjob?
I asked a Japanese chef how to make a good bowl of ramen, he said "Let me show you."
So, this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well, the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road, he starts speeding. Eventually, he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, "Is my wife okay? She was carrying my child." The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes, "APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage."
Why is Stephen Hawking good at skateboarding? Because he's always on the ramps.
Good sex sounds like a white man walking across the street with flip-flops on.
What does Stephen Hawking say after sex? That was wheely good.
What's the difference between a good TV show and a gay man?
One makes your day and one makes your whole week.
Why were the people in the Twin Towers such good readers?
They went through 110 stories in 10 seconds.
What did the orphan ask Santa for? A good family.
My dad is so good at instruments, he said he loves to finger "a minor."
Doctor: I've got good news and bad news.
Patient: What's the good news?
Doctor: I've got you flowers.
Patient: Awww, What's the bad news?
Doctor: They're for your grave.
I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.
