Good jokes

Things to kids:

Dragapult: "Ooh, look! Some ammo."

A Good Parent: "My baby!"

Michael Jackson: (HeeHee)

Q: Do you know why transgender people are good at being carpenters?

A: Because they have more experience cutting off their wood.

What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke? Timing.

I love eating pussy. That’s why the animal shelter is always my go-to for a good meal.

I can’t believe it’s been over a year since Kobe decided he’s too good to wait in traffic.

You ever hear of a reverse exorcism?

It's where the devil tells the priest to get out of the child.

A child asks his teacher to go to the toilet.

"Before you go, recite the alphabet," the teacher says.

"a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z"

"Good, but where's the p?"

"Running down my leg."

Roses are red, violets are violets, my dad died in 9/11 and he was a good pilot.

Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?

Because it's finger lickin' good!

"Oh, waiter! Waiter!"

"Yes, sir?"

"Do you have frog's legs?"

"Why, yes."

"Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!"

What's the one good thing about pedophiles? They slow down near schoolzones.

What's the only good thing about being an orphan?

All snacks are family sized!

🤔 What do gay men who are physically handicapped ♿ can do better than a man who is heteroflexible when 🤔 he has another man's 😍 😋 😜 😏 😳 😉 cock inside 😋 of his warm mouth 👄 👄 give a 👍 👍 good blowjob?

I asked a Japanese chef how to make a good bowl of ramen, he said "Let me show you."

So, this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well, the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road, he starts speeding. Eventually, he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, "Is my wife okay? She was carrying my child." The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes, "APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage."

Why is Stephen Hawking good at skateboarding? Because he's always on the ramps.

I swear, in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers can't even win a war. Might as well send all your school shooters over there.

What does Stephen Hawking say after sex? That was wheely good.

Why were the people in the Twin Towers such good readers?

They went through 110 stories in 10 seconds.

What's the difference between a good TV show and a gay man?

One makes your day and one makes your whole week.