A child asks his teacher to go to the toilet.
"Before you go, recite the alphabet," the teacher says.
"a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z"
"Good, but where's the p?"
"Running down my leg."
Kenny can't find a girlfriend because neither of his sisters can fuck as good as his mom could.
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger lickin' good!
What's the one good thing about pedophiles? They slow down near schoolzones.
What's the only good thing about being an orphan?
All snacks are family sized!
π€ What do gay men who are physically handicapped βΏ can do better than a man who is heteroflexible when π€ he has another man's π π π π π³ π cock inside π of his warm mouth π π give a π π good blowjob?
You ever hear of a reverse exorcism?
It's where the devil tells the priest to get out of the child.
I asked a Japanese chef how to make a good bowl of ramen, he said "Let me show you."
So, this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well, the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road, he starts speeding. Eventually, he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesnβt see his wife. He asks the doctor, "Is my wife okay? She was carrying my child." The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes, "APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage."
Good sex sounds like a white man walking across the street with flip-flops on.
"Oh, waiter! Waiter!"
"Yes, sir?"
"Do you have frog's legs?"
"Why, yes."
"Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!"
Why were the people in the Twin Towers such good readers?
They went through 110 stories in 10 seconds.
What's the difference between a good TV show and a gay man?
One makes your day and one makes your whole week.
Doctor: I've got good news and bad news.
Patient: What's the good news?
Doctor: I've got you flowers.
Patient: Awww, What's the bad news?
Doctor: They're for your grave.
What did the orphan ask Santa for? A good family.
I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.
My dad is so good at instruments, he said he loves to finger "a minor."
You look good with anything, but nothing works too.
An obese, depressed mother is trying to tie a noose, but can't reach it, so she calls her son for help.
*A few minutes later*
son: There.
mother: Where did you learn to tie such a good noose?
son: Dad showed me before he died.
mother: DAMN HIM TO HE- *slips and the noose chokes her to death*
Why is Stephen Hawking good at skateboarding? Because he's always on the ramps.
