Angel: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?
Satan: Could you like FUCK OFF FOR ONE MINUTE?
What did one ankle say to the other? Good morning how are you today
What the difference between cats and dogs? They dont have one both taste good
yo mama so fat it took nationwide three years to get on her good side
Hey John, how are you going?
Helium, yeah good, what about you?
(Hey Liam)
Mom: You need to grow up. You're so immature.
Me: *glares* Get out of my castle....
Mom: It's a pillow fort.
Me: Why can't I have an imagination! ?
Mom: You're almost 19 years old.
Me: Not good enough... OUT!
A chicken walks into a bar.
He orders Dr. Pepper.
He then lays a good scrambled egg.
My favorite toast for parties:
May I be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows I'm dead.
Good morning? Goodbye!
I have a really good construction joke, but I’ll have to post it later because I’m still working on it.
Idiot 1: Why are cows good in math?
Idiot 2: I don't know why.
Idiot 1: Because they have built-in cowculators!
Why do the Greeks and Romans like food? Because food is good for you.
Friend: Hey, did you catch that game last night? I did, it was so good! After that I went to Kane’s, because Kane's is amazing! What did you do this weekend? I did-
Me: Dude, are you the Terms and Conditions? Because I don’t give a fuck about what you say.
It's okay to tell a Stephen Hawking joke if there are stairs in your house he can't get to you. Plus, he shut himself down, so it's all good :)
Me: *gives her 5 dollars* Climb that flag pole. Cute female: *takes the money and goes up the flag pole* Is this good? Me: Hell yeah, that's a nice view.
*Next day* Here's 10 dollars if you do it again. *She goes up there* Me: How's the view? *She goes home and her mom sees the money* Her mom: Where you getting this money? Her daughter: I climbed a flagpole. Her mom: You know he just wants you to see your panties, right? *She goes back and does it again but doesn't wear panties* Me: Holy shit ;-; Her mom: Did you do it again? Her daughter: Don't worry, Mom, he didn't get to see my panties. Her mom:...
Kid 1: "Fortnite is good and Brawl Stars sucks!"
Me: Wow, I didn't know you were dyslexic.
Why was the egg naughty? Because he wanted a good cracking!
😜😝😋😎
My teacher told me to have a good day.SOOOOOOOOOO I went home :)
Why orphans so good at tennis Answer : because they never knew wat love was
Why was the computer so good at golf? Because he had a hard drive.
