Good Will Jokes

I started debating whether or not suicide is a good option, self harm just hasn’t been cutting it lately.

To whoever you are, you are loved.

i started crying when my dad was cutting onions

onions was such a good dog

I cried when my dad cut up onions, Onions was a good dog.

Why are Americans so good at solving Rubik’s cubes? Because they have a history of separating colors.

What do KFC and pussy have in common? Both are finger lickin' good and after you are done eating you have a box to put the bone in.

so the teacher go up to you and says im going to call your parents me: good luck finding them

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

What the difference between a feminist and Hitler?

Both were good at starting wars, only difference was Hitler knew when to kill himself afterwards.

Why don't you ever see hippos hiding in trees? -- Because they are really good at it.

Why are blind people so good ad being a jedi? They are always swinging a stick

A good dog name is Syndrome. That way when it tries attacking, you can yell, “Down, Syndrome!”

Two people just met. One said, “We should do some bonding.” The other nodded and said back, “Titanic.” The first just looked confused so the second one just said, “Sorry, thought that would be a good icebreaker.”

Doctor: I have good news and I have worse news Patient: Well what's the bad news Doctor: You have one day left to live Patient: What news could possibly be worse Doctor: I've been trying to contact you sense yesterday

So, I was at a stand up comedy show in Russia where the comedian was making fun of Putin. The jokes weren’t that good but I loved the execution.

OTHERS (MOTIVATED): If I had FLYING as a SUPERPOWER, FALLING would be the BEGINNING STAGE. ME (DEPRESSED): OK, GOOD IDEA! LETS FALL OFF THE CLIFF AND FLY TO HEAVEN!!