A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy. The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!"
Yo mama's so ugly, that sonic needed to go fast to get away from her face.
your hair and your hairline must be best friends cause they go waaaaay back
When elsa said let it go, you took to seriously and let go of your hairline
My frien liam has a hairline [if you can even call it a hairline] so bad it keeps going back for miles.
i hate it when I go to the shop and people are like "oh, hey what are you doing here?" me "oh you know just hunting elephants.
Why can’t orphans build anything?
Because they can’t go to Homedepot.
GO SUB TO PATTY MAHOMES On YouTube
If blind people could play go-kart it very quickly turns into bumper cars.
I went up to the deaf kid and said I’m going to punch u in 3 2 1 and he ended up with a broken nose and I said u should have listened to me
your mom so fat that the photographer had to go moon just to click the photo of her belly button
You see a kid on the side of the street crying, so you go up to them and say "where are your parents?" the kid says "What are parents?
Why do orphans always go to white vans when someone ask?
Because they want to feel wanted.
Why did the cow go to outer space?
To see the moooon!
I had to go to the doctor for a prostate exam, when he stuck it in I started to squirm so he held onto my shoulder. I thought it was going well.
Until he grabbed my other shoulder as well. ( If someone can write it better go ahead, I know it sucks)
Hey, I’m George and this is how to figure out if someone is a psychopath.
Go into someone’s search history, And find “Cuphead ship fanfic”.
Hey George, why do you have Russia x America countryhumans-
I'm actually against abortion Just go to the car wash and tell em you ate too much red pasta
This man has been through all kinda shit in his life. So one day, he finally looks at himself in the mirror and says, "If another person looks at me again, I'm going to kill myself." He looks at himself and no one ever heard from him again.
Why can orphans never walk home? because theres no way to go
tell the person next to spell "me". When they do, say, "you forgot the D". They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "not yet". if this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.
