Girls jokes

What's the difference between jam and jelly?

You can't jelly your cock into a girl's mouth.

I dated a German girl, it was very annoying when she kept on screaming her age and moaning.

Q. What’s black and blue and doesn’t like to have sex?

A. The little girl in my trunk.

What do a 14-year-old pregnant girl and the child inside her have in common?

Both are thinking, “Oh no! My mom’s gonna kill me!”

One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.

How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?

Girls: Boys are like games, they're meant to get played.

Boys: Girls are like stones, the flat ones get skipped.

Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."

I saw a girl crying. I told her, "Where are your parents?" She cried more after that. I got kicked out of the orphanage.

I went to a tall girl and I asked her, "What do you do for a living?" She says, "An account." So I reply with, "An accounting the hairs on people's heads," and then I run away.

The emo girl got jealous that her phone died and not her.

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”

“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”

Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”

Girls are like bacteria. The toxic ones are everywhere, and you have to take special care of the good ones.

At school in a classroom, the teacher asked the kid, “If you have one dollar and your parents give you five dollars, how much do you have?” Everyone raised their hand except one little girl.

A little girl said to her mom, "Mom, my butt's cracked, kiss it, kiss it!" Her mom said, "Sweetie, shut up, it's always been there!" Then her daughter died 'cause of her melodramaticness.

Do you know why boys can't ask girls out? Because they don't have any balls to ask girls out!

You know boys have balls. Girls have balls, too.

Hey baba girl, I have balls, you know.

Is there a really annoying girl at your school and she's so fake? Well, say this:

Me: Hey, I have a nickname for you.

Her: Really? What?

Me: Sweet-in-low.

Her: Why?

Me: Because you're artificial.

What is an emo girl's favorite map in Halo?

Hang 'em high.

What do you call a girl with no legs?

Unshakeable.