Girls jokes

A teenage girl got a summer job dogsitting for a gigantic English Mastiff. She spent hours with the dog, and walked a little funny when she got home.

"What are you doing all day?"

"Knot a lot."

I saw a girl at my job and we ended up fucking, then the test came back and I have hives from my sister.

At school in a classroom, the teacher asked the kid, “If you have one dollar and your parents give you five dollars, how much do you have?” Everyone raised their hand except one little girl.

Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."

What do you call emo girls?

Cutting boards.

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”

“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”

Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”

I saw a girl crying. I told her, "Where are your parents?" She cried more after that. I got kicked out of the orphanage.

The emo girl got jealous that her phone died and not her.

I went to a tall girl and I asked her, "What do you do for a living?" She says, "An account." So I reply with, "An accounting the hairs on people's heads," and then I run away.

Give me baby girl names for a pregnant YouTuber.

A little girl said to her mom, "Mom, my butt's cracked, kiss it, kiss it!" Her mom said, "Sweetie, shut up, it's always been there!" Then her daughter died 'cause of her melodramaticness.

Girls are like bacteria. The toxic ones are everywhere, and you have to take special care of the good ones.

What is an emo girl's favorite map in Halo?

Hang 'em high.

You know boys have balls. Girls have balls, too.

Hey baba girl, I have balls, you know.

Is there a really annoying girl at your school and she's so fake? Well, say this:

Me: Hey, I have a nickname for you.

Her: Really? What?

Me: Sweet-in-low.

Her: Why?

Me: Because you're artificial.

Do you know why boys can't ask girls out? Because they don't have any balls to ask girls out!

What do you call a thirsty girl?

An H2Hoe.

A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: "Mom, next year for the carnival, can I dress up as a princess?"

The mother replies: "Why? Didn't you like the ice lolly dress from last year?"

Hey Gwen, how are you? I'm a girl, btw...;)