Girls jokes
A fat man coming in the store.
Waiter: Oh god, not again :|
Fat man: Hi, I would like three fries and 19 burgers.
Waiter: Sorry sir, you will get the owner's store out of stock on food. Can I get you a salad instead?
Fat man: Oh sorry, but I'm the owner, and I have a lot of stocks. For the record, you should get yourself my order. You're skinny af, girl. You trying to be a stick or something?
If there was a zombie apocalypse, girls would make a "forehead apocalypse" since it is so big.
Make this the most liked comment!
(I'm a girl btw)
;)
What do you call a flat emo girl?
A cutting board.
I hope death is a girl. That way, it'll never come for me.
"Bully," omg, that girl is so ugly.
"Me," Wait, what...ever.
A girl did squats everyday with a 20 pound weight in her hand to finally text her boyfriend, "Show me your dick now!"
An orphan girl wanted a family so she was raped until pregnant. Problem solved.
Dad: Are you gay?
Kid: Yes.
10 days later.
Kid: I’m going to my girlfriend's house.
Dad: I thought you were gay?
Kid: What’s wrong with you? He’s the girly girl of our relationship, dumba**.
Dad: Don’t swear and okay, bud.
Other girls want a guy who is 6ft, but does me being 6ft under count?
Girl, are you a public school? Because I want to shoot my kids inside you.
This girl told me people call her ugly because she is disabled. I told her to stand up for herself.
Emo girls be like: How much am I worth...
Girl, scan the code on your wrist!
Me: I call my girl Cinderella.
Friend: Why?
Me: Because she loves balls.
What is an emo girl's favorite map in Halo?
Hang 'em high.
I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.
I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.
A little girl said one day, "Grandma's gonna die tonight!" The next morning, the girl's grandmother's body was found.
That day she said again, "Grandpa's gonna die tonight!" Sure enough, the girl's grandfather died and his body was discovered the next morning.
That day she said, "Daddy's gonna die tonight." The girl's father was terrified. He lay shaking the entire night. Somehow, he survived until morning. His wife came into the room crying. He asked her why she was upset and she said that the postman had died last night.
What did the emo guy say to the emo girl?
"Like ur cute g."
What do you call a flat-chested emo girl?
A cutting board.
Don't break girls' hearts. Break their legs instead. They're two.