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There are two muffins baking in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?"

The other muffin says, "AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

Jack and Jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water.

Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.

We all know yo homie bout to hop in a fight when:

1. He staring mighty hard at y'all.

2. When your friend know you gon get your ass beat.

3. When your friend say he not gon jump in (you know he lying).

The orphan tried to play baseball, but he couldn't get home because home doesn't exist for him.

Why do people make orphan jokes... their parents will get mad... oh wait, never mind, please continue.

I once told an orphan to go big or go home. He replied, "I can't get home; it got bombed."

Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies. (This does not apply to me. It's a joke.)