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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to Birds Eye.
Why did the one-eyed chicken cross the road?
To get to Birds Eye.
There's a girl I like in my school, but she's always on her phone. It seems that I can't get a SIGNAL from her.
1. You're so dumb, you think Cheerios are donut seeds!
2. You're so fat, you could sell shade!
3. You're just like coconut water, nobody likes you!
4. Have you been shopping lately? Because they're selling lives around the corner, you should go get one!
If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence!!
Are these good?
What did the fish get on his math test?
A sea plus.
What time is it when dogs get hurt?
Time to take your dog to the vet!
What name do you get if you mix the names Chris and Marisa?
Then you get the name Chrisa.
What time is it when you get hit by a car? Time to die.
What time do babies get dirty?
Playtime.
Why did the chicken commit suicide?
To get to the other side.
What ankle is getting cut off of school? The lights.
Q: What did Jesus say when he got nailed to the cross?
A: Owwww!!!!!
NASA is going to probe Uranus, and it might take a while to get there.
What's the difference between a club and a bar?
I can only get dead hookers from the club alleyways.
I don't get why people don't like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their ass? Wait, that's the other hole.
What do crows get after they buy a phone?
A cawing card.
Why was the astronaut washing her hands?
She was getting ready to eat launch.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the side that he was not on.
I thought I told you to lock up when I left this morning. This is why our shit gets stolen all the time!
What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum! You just can't beat it!
What do you call an angry reindeer? RUDE-olph!
What is Santa's favorite breakfast? Snowflakes!
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!