Why did the one-armed man cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.
Get Jokes
I made an AR that shoots boo boo bullets. It does poison time 10x damage. You have a very good chance of getting STD. Very good AR. Going for 100,000. Email: EatandDrinkbouls@gmail.com
When you get caught about to shoot up the school,
*slowly puts AR to chin*
What happens when you mess with a farmer? You get the whole ranch.
My happiest moment in life was getting a positive grade on my H.I.V. test without studying.
Why did the bat cross the road? Because to get to the blood bar.
How did the necrophiliac get caught?
Some rotten cunt split on him....
Whoever invented the knock-knock joke should get a "no bell" prize.
Dark jokes are like clean water, not everyone gets it.
What do you get when skeletons are dancing in a tin can?
Noise!
What do you get when someone named Victoria falls? A Victoria Falls!
Why did ze cow cross the road?
yo watch his mum getting butchered she was an udder failure.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some marijuana. Jack got high and slapped her thigh and said "you know you wanna". Jill said yes, pulled down her dress, and then they had some fun. Silly Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.
Getting hurt is a bone-breaking experience. It's such a spine-tingling event!
How did the Mexican girl get pregnant? Her teacher told her to do his essay.
What happens when a pun isn’t funny?
It gets PUNished.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
It might take a while for me to get hard because I just got laid last night.
I aced my poker test...
My teacher asked me to reflect on my work, so I got a mirror...
A caffeinated vampire goes to sleep in a coffin...
Do you get my puns? No, because you can't seem to get a grasp on how bad they are...
A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window, and jumps out.
The guy sitting next to him can’t believe what he just saw. He’s more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him.
The astonished onlooker asks, “How did you do that? I just saw you jump out the window, and we’re hundreds of feet above the ground!”
The jumper responds by slurring, “Well, I don’t get it either. I slam a shot of tequila, and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch.” He takes a shot, goes to the window, and jumps out.
The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls to just above the sidewalk, slows down, and lands softly on his feet. A few minutes later, the jumper walks back into the bar.
The other guy has to try it, too, so he orders a shot of tequila. He slams it and jumps out the window. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn’t slow down at all. SPLAT!
The first guy orders another shot of tequila. The bartender shakes his head. “You’re really an a**hole when you’re drunk, Superman.” I know.
Does anybody know the similarities between a Rubik's cube and a penis?
I don't know the whole answer, but I do know that the more you play with it, the harder it gets.
