Get jokes
A person walks into the bar and said, "Hey barman, get my son a drink and tell him his dad is dead."
Who said that?
Why was one afraid of every number in the world?
Because ONE wanted TWO get something THREE FOUR FIVE at the yard sale, but SIX was not there. SEVEN EIGHT NINE as well. When all but ONE remained, it got TENse.
What time is it when you get home and you can walk walk?
Yes, you are the one who can get it, and what time do I have?
What time is it when you get home? Can you walk me home, and then get home? Then I can walk you home, and walk home.
What time do dogs 🐕 get a walk done ✅?
Time to walk with your dog 🐶!
What time is it when you say I can’t walk anymore? Time to get a wheelchair 🦼.
What time is it when you cannot walk? Time to get a wheelchair 🦽.
What time is it when you get mad 😡 at school? Time to calm down.
My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.
A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"
It's embarrassing when there is no toilet paper and you need to go and get one with your pants down. Luckily, the supermarket is just around the corner.
Why do New Yorkers get what Spider-Man is saying?
Because he always makes spider-sense.
Disabled people can help the world to get a printed copy of "Leaning Tower of Pisa," exactly leaned at an angle.
What time is it when you say no to everything? Time to get bored.
How are peppers 🌶 so nosey?
They get jalapeño business.
What time is it when you get a chance to take a car and drive all over?
Time to get in trouble!
What time is it when you can smell smoke inside?
Time to get outside!
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to Birds Eye.
Why did the one-eyed chicken cross the road?
To get to Birds Eye.
There's a girl I like in my school, but she's always on her phone. It seems that I can't get a SIGNAL from her.