New Get Jokes - Page 130 - Worst Jokes Ever

Roses are red.

I have free candy. Get in my van. I have free candy!

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

(Wait, forgot about the 3rd third thing.) I have said this countless times, but it doesn't seem to be getting through to you: quit hating on particular jokes. You don't like it? Nobody cares. Don't go into the morbid jokes category, you idiots, ffs!

Gwen sassy: Hi here, my credit card. Don't get it wet, it is too much!

Unknown: Okay!

Gwen sassy: Man, I am late, can you move along! Much!

Unknown whispering: Sexy!

Once I was in South Korea doing stand up comedy... and I started with a "hidden" joke and I said: "I'm so happy to be here in one of the most beautiful Korea's in the world..." which is a good joke but they didn't get it, and they looked at me badly... so I said "I'm here in the South which is more beautiful... South good, North booooooo." But still nothing, they kept glaring at me... then I realized that maybe I was in the wrong Korea.

Why are orphans and bananas so much alike? Because they both get split.

What does an orphan and a banana have in common? They both get split up.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?

Dollar a pop!

Get it?

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Apples get picked. Lel. I hope you guys like this joke.

If you own a gun and you live in the USA, hide your gun upstairs. Biden can't get it.

Biden: *falls over on steps*

How do you put a baby in the blender feet first so you can see its facial expressions?

How do you get it out? Tortilla chip.

How do you put a baby in a blender feet first so you can see its facial expressions?

How do you get the baby out? With a tortilla chip!

How do you get your grass to cut itself?

Make it depressed.

Why can't the orphan get the big bag of chips?

Because it's family-size.

Little Johnny got a train set for Christmas. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Alright, you motherfuckers get off here, and you motherfuckers get off here." His mom comes rushing in and says, "Little Johnny, we don’t use that kind of language, go to your room and think about what you did!"

After a few hours, she lets him out of his room. He goes back to play with his train set. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Okay, you guys get off here, and you guys get off here. And if you have any complaints about the two hour delay, take it up with the bitch in the kitchen."