Get jokes

Why did the kid cry?

His dad didn't get the milk.

When I'm bored, I go into an elevator with a full duffle bag. Once people come in and the door closes, I zip open the bag a little bit and whisper to it, "I'll get you some food once we get off."

So I went to Comic-Con and saw a man with an arm missing, and I thought, "Cool display," until I heard him screaming and getting the other arm chopped off. Then I said, "Man, now that's a 10/10 display, wow!"

What's the difference between an emo kid and a pack of Oreos? The bar code on the emo kid gets longer every day.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

Q: Why didn't the Oak tree win the election?

A: He didn't get the votes he was oaking for, because he was not the popular vote.

I thought of telling my teachers that I am transgender so I get to wear my AirPods in class.

If her age is on the clock, she gets the cock.

My mom said she will slam my head into my computer if I don't get off it, but I'm not too worried. I think she is joking.

My mom said she will slam my head into my computer if I don't get off it. I'm not too worried though, I think she is just joking.

The teacher asked the class what sound does a cow make? "Mooo," said Sally. "Good job," said the teacher. "What sound does a sheep make?" "Baa," said Jack. "Good, now what sound does a pig make?" Little Johnny raised his hand really high in the sky. The teacher called on him. He said, "The pig says, 'Get on the ground and put your hands on your head, you black motherfucker.'"

Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.

It never gets old.

Gwen, do you have to be so happy all the time? Even you don't get the joke!

Gwen, let's chat at night for about 1 hour! I want to get to know each other better!

P.S., it's Jake.

What does Jesus do when he gets nervous? He bites his nails.

How much pussy does a priest get? None.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

An apple gets picked.

Why did Dairy Queen and Burger King get arrested for copyright infringement? Because they gave birth to Five Guys.

School sucks, just like you, get roasted nerds.

If you tell me to get a life, you're telling me to get a life better than yours!