Genealogy jokes

Tuesday, I was looking at my family tree, and two dogs were using it.

POV: Her name is Alli.

What do you call an orphan's family tree?

A stump.

What dating app do people in Alabama use? Ancestry.com.

I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me.

She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand.

Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys. I asked and she said that’s my fam as well. I noticed an Alabama driver's license. I asked which one was her dad. She said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter. I casually asked what he did for work. Self-employed? She said that’s the last time I use ancestry.com!

I'm so proud of my grandpa, he killed Hitler. WAIT-

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple can trace back its family tree.

My grandpa and your hairline go way back.

I have WWII in my blood since my great-grandfather killed Hitler.

When you find out your great grandpa killed Hitler.

Me talks to an orphan: Hey, I have a joke.

Orphan: Go on then.

Me: Your family tree.

Incest.

When your genealogy chart is a straight line.

Q: How to hit an orphan?

A: Hit them with a family tree.

My great great grandfather killed Hitler😌

What is an orphan's family tree? A stump.

My grandfather killed Hitler.

Get it? Get it?

What do rednecks find when they research their family tree?

Their INCESTors!

What do you call an orphan’s family tree?

A stump.

I had a dad.