Game jokes
Nice! Angry Birds really has improved.
Did you know that dogs started the street craps game?
"I spy with my little eye..."
- Noting I am blind -
What is a terrorist's first move in chess?
C4.
Do you know why orphans can't play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
I tried making an orphan baseball team. It sucked because they couldn’t find home plate.
Why are English people bad at chess? 'Cause they lost their Queen.
Why can't the US play chess? 'Cause they lost their towers.
Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight. Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.
The farmers were playing chess, and the winner shouted and said: "I killed your horse!"
The second quickly left, and when he returned he said: "We have poisoned all your cows!"
Two people stood in one room. The first guy stared at the second.
First guy: “Sorry I had to punch you. It was a game, bro.”
Second guy: “Between me and you talking, there’s almost no PUNCH line. Hah!”
What do you call a deep diver? A DeepWoken player.
I was born and raised in Newcastle.
My grandfather used to tell me stories about Penaldo, a goblin from Portugal that travels to England when Newcastle is playing. He scores a tapin and then disappears until the next Newcastle game. I still have nightmares that he’s in our stadium.
Men play video games to let their inner child out, while women do abortions.
Why can’t orphanage kids play baseball?
Cause they don’t know where home is.
One day, little Johnny woke up to get a drink of water. He passed by his parents' bedroom and noticed sheets bouncing. He asked his dad what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." Little Johnny said, "Who is your partner?" Dad said, "Your mom." On his way up, he passed by his sister's room and noticed sheets bouncing around and asked what she’s doing. She said, "Playing cards with my boyfriend, Paul." The next day, Dad came to ask Johnny a question. The father noticed Johnny was still in bed and asked him what he was doing. He saw the sheet bouncing and asked Johnny what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." His dad asked him who his partner was. Little Johnny said, "You don’t need a partner if you have a good hand."
Csgo is just practice for when you want to one tap some 3rd graders
Games
What's a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game? Before the first period starts.
Why can't you play memory snap in the jungle?
Because there are too many cheetahs.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
It doesn't know where home is.