Furniture

Furniture Jokes

Fat People

When fat people sit down at a restaurant, and you listen closely, you can hear the chair screaming.

Joe Biden

Government Briefing:

Joe Biden had a meeting with the cabinet today...

...He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the desk.

JD Vance

Why does JD Vance have strained diplomatic relations with Turkey?

He took away their ottoman!

Corner

If your house is cold, just stand in the corner. It's always 90 degrees there.

Chair

Why did the chair file a restraining order?

The booty wouldn't stop cracking up!

Interior

Yo, Leo, are you an interior decorator? Because when you enter a room, it becomes EMPTY!

Mama

Yo mama so fat that she needs 12 queen size mattresses to go to sleep.

Stool

How do 4 gay guys fit on one stool at the same time?

They flip it over.

Bench

What's the difference between you and a bench?

A bench can hold a family.

Couch

I want a bigger couch.

Why? You're going to be in the kitchen most of the time anyway.

Chandelier

What do I and a brand new chandelier have in common?

One of these days, we’re both gonna be hanging from the ceiling.

Baby

So, a woman gives birth to a child, and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down. Then, he starts swinging it around the room, slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, “Let my baby go, you sick bastard!” The doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, “I’m just kidding, it was already dead.”

Mama

Yo mama is so fat that her wheelchair had to be made into a couch!