Funeral

Funeral Jokes

I saw a small kid crying, so I asked him, "Where's your mom?" but he started crying, so I left the funeral. πŸ™‚πŸ™‚

What did they do with his body when he died?

They made him into Lego so kids can play with him for once.

A friend of mine used to be morbidly obese, but after lots of exercise and hard work... We were able to lift his coffin.

I got an Xbox achievement the other day. It said "Trash Master," and everyone looked at me at the funeral.

Ex: baby i miss u.

Me: sorry i can't talk, i'm at a funeral.

Ex: who died?!

Me: my feelings 4 u, bitch.

I remember when I was at a funeral at the age of 6. I was with my grandma and asked, "Grandma, Grandma, why is that man in a box?"

And she says, "He's in a better place now." I look at her confused and ask, "What kind of box did he live in before?! How is this box better than the last one?! It's just a box!"

And to this day I am still not allowed to go to funerals.

Before I die, I'm going to ask to be cremated.

Then I'm going to eat a bunch of popcorn kernels.

Then I'll die and get cremated. BOOM! I'm popcorn!

I was at a funeral and told a joke and my sister said β€œI’m dead” so I said β€œthat’s what she said.”

My dad told me a story today. His mom, my grandma, said if a bird gets in your house, someone will die.

That day, a hummingbird got in his UPS truck, and that’s the day he found out that my grandma had cancer. 😭😭😭😭😭 6 weeks later, she died. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

When you're at a funeral and you laugh at the body... everyone stares, and one person said, "Isn't that your mom...?"