Funeral

Funeral jokes

Why did Nicholas Cage and Angelina Jolie attend Paul Walker’s funeral?

He went from "The Fast and the Furious" to "Gone in 60 Seconds."

You're at a funeral. Your mum says be quiet, so you snigger at the body and say, "Bye forever, bitch."

I saw a small kid crying, so I asked him, "Where's your mom?" but he started crying, so I left the funeral. 🙂🙂

What did they do with his body when he died?

They made him into Lego so kids can play with him for once.

A friend of mine used to be morbidly obese, but after lots of exercise and hard work... We were able to lift his coffin.

I got an Xbox achievement the other day. It said "Trash Master," and everyone looked at me at the funeral.

Imagine when you are about to cry at the funeral, then your friend's phone rings.

Then he says, "I'll call you back, I'm still at the die."

Ex: baby i miss u.

Me: sorry i can't talk, i'm at a funeral.

Ex: who died?!

Me: my feelings 4 u, bitch.

I was speaking at my grandpa's funeral and I told everybody his last words: "You still holding the ladder?"

I remember when I was at a funeral at the age of 6. I was with my grandma and asked, "Grandma, Grandma, why is that man in a box?"

And she says, "He's in a better place now." I look at her confused and ask, "What kind of box did he live in before?! How is this box better than the last one?! It's just a box!"

And to this day I am still not allowed to go to funerals.

Before I die, I'm going to ask to be cremated.

Then I'm going to eat a bunch of popcorn kernels.

Then I'll die and get cremated. BOOM! I'm popcorn!

I was at a funeral and told a joke, and my sister said, "I'm dead." So I said, "That's what she said."