Fun

Fun jokes

Parade

    • Hey, Mom, I'm back from the circus parade. It was amazing! First came the elephants, then came the tigers in the cage, and then came a beautiful lady on a white stallion. Oh, and what came after her?

    Asked the mother, "Dad and every sailor in the state of Tennessee," said the boy.

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    • Difference

    • What is the difference between a human and a human rights act and a walk home and walk walk home from home and walk walk home and a wheelchair to wheelchair and wheelchair to wheelchair for wheelchair home night time to a home was fun at home night was the day I had dinner is it fun for me I was going to be a walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home night time?

    Fun memes

    Astronaut

    • Astronaut In The Ocean-By- Masked Wolf and watersharky Music Productions-

    Astro-naut

    What you know about rollin' down in the deep?

    When your brain goes numb, you can call that mental freeze

    When these people talk too much, put that shit in slow motion, yeah

    I feel like an astronaut in the ocean, ayy

    What you know about rollin' down in the deep?

    When your brain goes numb, you can call that mental freeze

    When these people talk too much, put that shit in slow motion, yeah

    I feel like an astronaut in the ocean

    She say that I'm cool (damn straight)

    I'm like "yeah, that's true" (that's true)

    I believe in G-O-D (ayy)

    Don't believe in T-H-O-T

    She keep playing me dumb (play me)

    I'ma play her for fun (uh-huh)

    Y'all don't really know my mental

    Lemme give you the picture like stencil

    Falling out, in a drought

    No flow, rain wasn't pouring down (pouring down)

    See, that pain was all around

    See, my mode was kinda lounged

    Didn't know which-which way to turn

    Flow was cool but I still felt burnt

    Energy up, you can feel my surge

    I'ma kill everything like this purge (ayy)

    Let's just get this straight for a second, I'ma work

    Even if I don't get paid for progression, I'ma get it (get it)

    Everything that I do is electric

    I'ma keep it in a motion, keep it moving like kinetic, ayy (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)

    Put this shit in a frame, better know I don't blame

    Everything that I say, man I seen you deflate

    Let me elevate, this ain't a prank

    Have you walkin' on a plank, la-la-la-la-la, like

    Both hands together, God, let me pray (now let me pray)

    Uh, I've been going right, right around, call that relay (Masked Wolf)

    Pass the baton, back and I'm on

    Swimming in the pool, Kendrick Lamar, uh

    Want a piece of this, a piece of mine, my peace a sign

    Can you please read between the lines?

    My rhyme's inclined to break your spine

    They say that I'm so fine

    You could never match my grind

    Please do not, not waste my time

    What you know about rollin' down in the deep?

    When your brain goes numb, you can call that mental freeze

    When these people talk too much, put that shit in slow motion, yeah

    I feel like an astronaut in the ocean, ayy

    What you know about rollin' down in the deep?

    When your brain goes numb, you can call that mental freeze

    When these people talk too much, put that shit in slow motion, yeah

    I feel like an astronaut in the ocean.

    Store

    • While I was out shopping, I tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me. For fun, I said, "Sorry! It's been a while since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.

    Dads are like boomerangs... I hope!

    Son: Dad, why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.

    You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.

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    • Bottle

    • It's always fun to take anti-depressants, you either choose to take one, or the whole bottle.

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    • Wheelchair

    • A blind man had an argument with a man in a wheelchair. The man in a wheelchair made fun of him saying, "look, there's a spider." The blind man simply said, "Step on it."

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    • Lie

    • A family of 3, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie? It’ll be fun.”

    “Ok,” the mom and son reply happily.

    “Let me start,” says the son.

    “Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom.

    “I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son.

    “Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games,” says the mom.

    “Your right!” He replies.

    “I’ll go next,” says the dad. “I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.”

    “Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom,” Says the son.

    “The lie is the second on,” says the dad.

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    • Adult

    • Making fun of someone you're angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car <3

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    • Police

    • The police told everyone to put their hands up, and the police were having fun waving their hands around.

    Tube

    • So do you guys know those waterslides that you stand in, and then they suddenly drop you straight down onto the water slide? If not, look them up on YouTube, there's nothing like them.

    Ah yes, the sweet memories of my first time on one of these. I feel that my mental/emotional scars have healed enough to tell this gem.

    At the time my girlfriend, now Fiancée, worked as a photographer for one of those resorts with the indoor and outdoor water parks. One of her perks was that her and a family member/friend could get into the waterpark for free, so one hot summer day she had off and we both decided it'd be fun to go there and cool down for the day.

    While we were there, I discovered one of there most "Thrilling" looking waterslides. Basically you stand in this tube, and then the slide operator presses a button and this slide drops you straight down a good 90 FEET, before you actually start going down the water slide. Me, being a thrill seeker, of course had to try it. So I made the great climb up to the top of the slide, stood in line, and finally it was my turn. Once I got in the tube, the operator told me to keep my legs crossed. Now I'm a pretty big heavy guy, so I was like "That's uncomfortable as fuck, I'm not doing that."

    So there I was standing in the tube, having a panic attack from anticipation, with my legs not crossed. The operator finally presses the button, the bottom opens and I fall straight down the water slide. Very quickly I realized why they have you cross your legs. Water shot so far up my ass, so fast, I swear I tasted it in my mouth. My body raced down that slide, as I questioned every life choice that I have ever made.

    Once I made it to the bottom, I sat there for a moment, absolutely violated. I felt like someone in an episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. I built up the courage to finally stand up, and all I could feel was the nice warm stream of water mixed with shit, and maybe a little bit of blood shoot out of my ass faster than the Steamboat Geyser at Yellowstone National Park. I quickly got off the slide and ran to the bathroom, with a trail of shitty water tailing me as the slide operator stared in awe. They had to shut down the slide for the rest of the day :'), but man was my asshole clean after that!

    Moral of the story: Keep your damn legs crossed on waterslides.

    Same thing goes when you are at bible study with a handsy priest.

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