I took an Uber home the other day, and the bastard was swerving all over the road and driving on the shoulder... I said, "Who the f*ck taught you to drive?" To this, he replied, "Stevie Wonder."
the reason why I stopped eating salads was not to be unhealthy it was so I don't need to eat the wheelchairs along with all those fucking vegetables.
He died because of a fuck up by the Hospital, apparently the doctor said to the nurse you can discharge Mr Hawking now, so she went to his room and pulled the plug out of his computer.
What did Stephen hawking say on the stairway to heaven?
Oh fuck I can’t get up them
If Stephen Hawkins was so Fucking Smart , Why hasn't he learned to walk yet ?
Pedofiles are fucking immature assholes
I accidentally walked on the lego batman mask.
I want my fucking feet back.
My wife caught me fucking our daughter. I don't know what she found worse, the fact I was fucking out daughter, or that the clinic have me the fetus.
Fuck my ass
So I'm banging the fuck out of this slutty chick, right?
And I'm thinking to myself, "She's PROBABLY got AIDS." So I go and get myself tested and, lo and behold, I'm positive.
This gets me thinking, "Where the fuck does an eight year old get AIDS?!"
"Who has my sister been hanging out with?!"
Paedophiles are fucking immature assholes.
A little boy went to church.. the priest said get in the following positions.. stand then kneel then bow.. the little boy replies.. can u hurry up and fuck me already
What did the penis say to the condom?
"Cover me, I'm going in!"
What do you call a club that owls go to? Hooters
Shat's the diffrence between depression amd a girl? XXXTentacion cant seem to beat depression.
Was gonna make a gay joke but fuck... Cum on guys.
So I was fucking my daughter the other day and my wife walked in... I don't know what was funnier the look on her face or that the abortion clinic let me keep her
There is a young man smoking and a woman in a wheelchair. The woman says, "Why is a young man like you smoking?" The man turns around and says, "Why the fuck are you wearing trainers?"
Hey babe, I’m looking to get 23 years in 23 seconds, can you help?
Whats the best thing about fucking twenty six year olds? Theres twenty of them.
