Friends jokes

Funeral

    • My friend was pissed off with me. I was sniffing his sister's knickers. It was worse that they were still on her. It was worse the family were there. It made the rest of her funeral really awkward.

  • 5

    • Pill

    • Teacher: Kids, what are some things you have that make you happy? Kid 1: I have my family to make me happy. Kid 2: I have my friends to make me happy. Teacher: What about you, Sean? Sean: I have to take pills to make me happy...

  • 25

    • Cow

    • A kid milks a cow and goes to school and tells his friends, "I milked a cow, and it took awhile for it to warm up." His brother came over and said, "We don't have cows, we have bulls."

  • 2

    • Suicide

    • A man named Icide ruined my life. I asked a friend if he would help me sue him. He said yes. But for some reason, he killed me.

    All I wanted was for someone to help me sue Icide...

  • 0

    • Car pet

    • I used to have a friend who worked at a car shop who liked hunting.

    I’m not friends with him anymore because he turned my dog into a car-pet.

    Travel

    • So Steph Curry and Lebron James went on a vacation, and Steph Curry said, "Try not to travel!"

  • 0

    • Stroke

    • I was talking to my Welsh friend the other day, and he suddenly started talking Welsh to me then collapsed after the first few sentences. Turns out he had a stroke.

  • 0

    • Chicken

    • Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friend's pen. In the end, he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chicken's life.

  • 12

    • Orgasm

    • A 13 year old girl is having a sleepover. One of her friends asks, "When was the last time you had an orgasm?" She replies, "3 days ago." Dad comes bursting in, "I KNEW YOU WERE FAKING LAST NIGHT!"

  • 8

    • Sister

    • My friend told me he had a sister. I asked if she was hot, and he said she was 8. That wasn't my question.

  • 26