Friend A jokes
My two friends came to me one day and said they had the best blowjob that they ever had from my little sister. So I ask my sister, "Is it true that you gave my friends blowjobs?" She said yes.
My sister asked me, "Do you want one?" I said yeah. My sister gave me a blowjob and wow, just like my friends, it was the best blowjob that I ever had. As an older brother, I couldn't be more prouder.
Why are friends a lot like snow?
If you pee on them, they disappear.
What do you call a kid with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
When u show ur friend a magic trick
I called my guy friend a cock-sucker the other day. He replied with, "Hey, 20 bucks is 20 bucks."
What do you call your retard friend?
A homie with an extra cromie.
So, I got my blind friend a Big Mac for his birthday. A week later, he walked up to me and said,
"Damn, that was the most violent book I've ever read."
I bought my friend a rope for his birthday. He said it was the most violent book ever.
Friend: I got bit.
Other friend: By what?
Friend: A dog.
Other friend: (Runs away and the next day you know everyone is wearing a mask and the friend gets expelled because of rabies.)
Once a monkey lived in a jamun tree. His friend, a crocodile, came there to eat jamun everyday. The second day, he ate some jamun and left some for his wife. Soon, his wife said, "Why don't you kill this monkey?"
The crocodile was sad and then asked the monkey to come to his place. The monkey said, "What if I drown?" The crocodile said, "Jump on my back." The monkey jumped on his back. The crocodile soon said, "I am gonna kill you. My wife is sick and wants to eat your heart." The monkey said, "I left my heart on the jamun tree." Then the crocodile swam back to the jamun tree and the monkey jumped on the tree.
RICK: GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT OH GUESS WHAT MOTHERFUCKER OR IMMA SAY IT!!!!!!
Richard: What????
Rick: So before Donald Trump's impeachment, he said, "The Coronavirus will end on March 32nd 2021."
Richard: Your from planet Earth where there's a March 32nd. Enjoy it, *stupid dumb fuck brother*.
Rick: Oh I will.
*It was the day March 21st*
*9 Days later*
*March 31st*
Rick: oh I cant wait until tomorrow!!!!!!!!!! Ooh im so excited im gonna give my friends a big ole bro hug and hand shake i miss the muhfuckin dudes man
*one day later*
*He got his school uniform waiting for the bus not seeing it*
Rick:....... wai......Huh!?!?...... hol....up
BITCH IM AND IDIOT THERE IS NO MOTHERFUCKING MARCH 32ND THIS IS THE MOTHERFUCKING 1ST OF APRIL TRUMP DUMBASS
*Richard*
*oh he's the dumbass*
Community talk
Ok....so like would i be considered a asshole for calling my "friend" a ho?? ....yk after telling me I'm probably going to break up with my bf, of almost a year now, for my ex. I was already mad to begin with and she just had to keep picking on me and then proceeded to tell me I'm being a bitch for no reason. Logic is gone I guess
Hi guys,
I am saying it here, because there is no space that I can vent to, since literally people in my friend group are uncomfortable with me venting, even though it is normal.
It is the fourth day of school, and I feel like I am the cause of my friend group being disconnected. I have this one friend, let's call her friend A. This friend A and another friend (friend B), who seems to be friend A's best friend. Fri… Read more