Football

Football Jokes

As a son I like sports and I watch sports with my mom. So one day we were looking at football. My mom ask me who makes the most money I said the quarter back. My mom told me I going to get a quarter back has my new boyfriend and it be your new step father. a week lady my mom went out I came home I see my mom making out with a high school kid. I said whats going on my mom said look my new boyfriend and new step father is the high school quarter back. My mom said see mission accomplish. I said yeah job well done.

ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG

Give me freedom Give me fire Give me contract Or I retire

Jog all day Out of UCL now FC Barcelona I need you now

Villarreal defenders They surround me Big submarines All around me

I get upset Call my agent I want money I’m impatient

I was given a invisibility cloak by my grandfather, but it was stolen in 2013. After investigating this issue I have come to the conclusion it was Robert Lewandisney. Thats why he was invisible in every big game since 2013. SHAME ON YOU LEWANDISNEY

I was on the Official Cristiano Ronaldo website, when suddenly my Anti-Virus software showed an alert on my screen! The notification read "WARNING: FRAUD DETECTED!" I was shocked but not surprised. Penaldo has been finished for years after all, and he often ghosts in big games.

So an orphan played for a football team. and the coach said your parents must be proud of you 🤣🤣🤣🤣

a teacher in Scunthorpe asks a class what their favourite football team is saying "raise you hand if it is Scunthorpe" every student but one raised their hand. the teacher asks "why don't you support Scunthorpe?" the child answers "my parents support Grimsby and so do I". the teacher comes back with "why are you copying your parents? what if your mum was a prostitute and your dad a druggie?" the child answers then i'd support Scunthorpe like you dirty bastards"

You caught a Penaldo! Description: Penaldo, the finished statpadder. It is said that Penaldo drains the energy of its teammates and sells underwears. Type: Ghost type Moves: Dive Disappear in big games Cry for pens Statpad vs farmers Sells underwear

🎵Penaldo Thrills🎵 C’mon c’mon turn the VAR on It's Penalty time and it won't be long Gotta dive and cry some more It's Penalty time and it won't be long ‘Til I Hit the floor and dive alot Cry some more and dive alot. that all i need, because I got u my love, Penalty.

The dirtiest football player in my school was the smallest. He was just trying to find out who was tickling his balls.

I was born and raised in Newcastle. My grandfather used to tell me stories about Penaldo, a goblin from Portugal that travels to England when Newcastle is playing. He scores a tapin and then disappears until the next Newcastle game I still have nightmares that he’s in our stadium