Fly jokes
Why were the people in the Twin Towers mad? They wanted a drive-through pepperoni pizza, but got a fly-through plane instead.
Why did Jerry fall off the moon? Because he got hit by a fridge.
What does a bar fly and a necrophiliac have in common?
They both enjoy a cold one once in a while.
If 4 birds are sitting on a fence and one gets shot, how many are still on the fence?
None, the rest fly away.
A guy goes onto a rooftop bar and is sitting next to a guy who says he’s drinking a magical drink. He asks, “What’s so magical about it?” The guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. The other tries, but falls off and dies.
The bartender shakes his head and says, “Y’know, you’re a real jerk when you’re drunk, Superman.”
A fly is 6 inches above water, and a fish sees it and it leaps out and gets the fly. Then a bear grabs the fish and eats it. Then a hunter shot the bear, and a mouse saw some crackers and then leaped on the cracker and ate it. Then a cat runs down to get the mouse, trips, and falls into the water, and that's the story of how six inches can get a pussy wet.
A mosquito with a Mario hat on flies on you saying, "It's-a me, Malario!"
What has three balls and flies through space?
E.T. the extra testicle.
I once had an owl who I thought it would fly away.
1950: In the future there will be flying cars.
2018: Pewdiepie shuts down Shane Dawson.
What's the difference between an Al Qaeda Base and a Pakistani School?
"I don't know man, I just fly the drones."
I once was sitting outside and watched the birds go by. I checked my watch and said, "My, how time is FLYING by!"
Superman was flying one day when he saw Wonder Woman laying by the pool completely naked. He thought, "I can fuck her so fast she wouldn't even know what happened." So he then flew down to the pool and did fuck her.
Wonder Woman stood up and said, "What was that?" The Invisible Man said, "I don't know, but my asshole stinks!"
Yo mama so tall!!! When she wakes up from her bed, she stands up and finds NASA beside her face, and she thinks it's a fly!!!
What's the difference between an ISIS militant base and a Pakistani children's school?
I don't know, I just fly the drone.
Aren't paraplegics just plegics that can fly?
What is the difference between McDonald's and 9/11?
McDonald's has a drive-through. Twin Towers has a fly-through.
What makes a bird fly?
Bird food!
A man enters a bar with some friends, and they all sit down to a drink. After not too long, a man with glasses comes through the front door saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" When no one listens, he shrugs, and everyone watches him go up the stairs. Ten seconds later, he comes back in through the door, again saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" Everyone is amazed, and a few people leave to go fly with him. He keeps coming back into the bar, bringing more and more patrons to join him. The man at the bar is about to join in when the bartender finally sighs.
"For the last time, Superman, get out of my bar, you're drunk and the only person here that can fly!"
The man with glasses frowns.
"Where did all the others go, then?"
What does a kid with cancer and a house fly have in common? A life expectancy of 15-25 days.