Fly jokes
Why does Peter Pan always fly? Because he Neverlands.
Do you know where time is? Because it keeps flying by.
Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left? 499.
What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.
What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.
The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.
Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.
Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
What's grey and can't fly?
A parking lot.
According to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground, but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don't care about what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black.
What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.
What do you call a squirrel with wings? A flying squirrel, it's pretty self-explanatory.
Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they would be expect bagels.
How to make time fly?
Answer: Throw a clock out of the window.
What's the difference between a school and an ISIS military base? Don't ask me, I only fly the drone.
What do you call a fly without wings?
A walk.
What do you call a squirrel that flies? A flying squirrel.
What do you call a Jedi that can use the force to fly?
A Jedi Flight.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels.
What's the difference between a bird and a fly?
A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird!
What do you call a black man flying a plane?
A pilot, you racist bastard!
How do you stop your newspaper from flying away in the wind? -- Use a news anchor.
What do you call a dead fly? -- A flew.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? -- A stick.
Give a man a plane ticket and he'll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he'll fly for the rest of his life.