Fly jokes

Son: Yo dawg, tell me a story.

Dad: Y'all motherfuckers ain't gon' believe dis shit, so there was dis fairy aight, she had wings, so she flys into a KFC, and comes out with wings, chicken wings.

Also, why did Hawking try to walk across the road? His wheelchair only goes 1 mph, so he got hit by a bus.

I once had an owl who I thought it would fly away.

1950: In the future there will be flying cars.

2018: Pewdiepie shuts down Shane Dawson.

What's the difference between an Al Qaeda Base and a Pakistani School?

"I don't know man, I just fly the drones."

I once was sitting outside and watched the birds go by. I checked my watch and said, "My, how time is FLYING by!"

Superman was flying one day when he saw Wonder Woman laying by the pool completely naked. He thought, "I can fuck her so fast she wouldn't even know what happened." So he then flew down to the pool and did fuck her.

Wonder Woman stood up and said, "What was that?" The Invisible Man said, "I don't know, but my asshole stinks!"

Yo mama so tall!!! When she wakes up from her bed, she stands up and finds NASA beside her face, and she thinks it's a fly!!!

What's the difference between an ISIS militant base and a Pakistani children's school?

I don't know, I just fly the drone.

Aren't paraplegics just plegics that can fly?

What is the difference between McDonald's and 9/11?

McDonald's has a drive-through. Twin Towers has a fly-through.

What makes a bird fly?

Bird food!

A man enters a bar with some friends, and they all sit down to a drink. After not too long, a man with glasses comes through the front door saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" When no one listens, he shrugs, and everyone watches him go up the stairs. Ten seconds later, he comes back in through the door, again saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" Everyone is amazed, and a few people leave to go fly with him. He keeps coming back into the bar, bringing more and more patrons to join him. The man at the bar is about to join in when the bartender finally sighs.

"For the last time, Superman, get out of my bar, you're drunk and the only person here that can fly!"

The man with glasses frowns.

"Where did all the others go, then?"

What does a kid with cancer and a house fly have in common?

A life expectancy of 15-25 days.

I can tell you an airplane joke, but it will probably fly over your head.

A guy goes onto a rooftop bar and is sitting next to a guy who says he's drinking a magical drink. He asks, "What's so magical about it?" The guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. The other tries, but falls off and dies.

The bartender shakes his head and says, "Y'know, you're a real jerk when you're drunk, Superman."

Why did Shawn suddenly fly to Mount Everest, leaving behind friends, family, and food?

Someone told him that "Shelby"'s coming 'round the mountain.

Why did Sally decide to fly to school?

She couldn't drive.

How do you get a hippie chick pregnant?

You cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.

Why does Peter Pan always fly? Because he Neverlands.

Do you know where time is? Because it keeps flying by.